“I’m not ready to talk to him about…more than what we’re doing right now.” I could barely get the words out.
“You don’t have to be, but make sure he knows the score, whatever that is. If he really is just your obsession of the week then—”
Hot anger burst through me. “He’s so much more than that.”
Ford held up a hand. “Fine. What are you looking for from me? Permission to bring the boy home?”
“Fuck you.”
“Seriously Miles, you asked me to come to out with you. You wanted to talk about this. What are you afraid of?”
My pulse pounded in my ears. “I’m not—”
“Miles. It’s me.”
Somehow I forced the words out. “Hurting him. Losing him.”
“You think you’d do to him what that bastard did to Emily?”
“No! I’m just afraid of fucking it up. I’m not relationship material. I’ve built my whole life around being exactly what people expect me to be.”
“And to some extent you are that, but there’s more inside you. Ben will see that because he’s no fool.”
“He’s innocent, though. He’s not been—”
“Miles, you know who his father is. You know what he’s seen and experienced. It’s why you needed to test his loyalty, and that’s why there’s still an inkling of doubt in your mind about what he really wants from you.”
“What? That’s not true.”
“Isn’t it?”
“Fuck. I definitely should’ve called Worth.”
“Did you really need to be watching him get a lap dance from some lush little dancer while you pine for Ben? You needed straight talk, and you knew I would give it to you.”
I nodded. “Thanks.”
“So, will you have your little weekend slumber party?”
“Yes. It’ll be a chance to see how it goes when we’re together for more than a few hours outside of work. I mean, maybe this is just a passing whim.”
Ford reached out and laid his hand over mine. “Or maybe it’s absolutely not.”
I knew Ford wasn’t going to tell me what to do, and he knew if he did, I wouldn’t necessarily listen to him. I did what I wanted to. I always had. And I’d always taken risks, except with my heart. How much was I willing to risk now? Maybe a weekend together would help me figure things out.
I managed to behave professionally with Ben the next day. I kept my inappropriate attention to long looks across the office and a stolen kiss to the back of his neck as we headed to a meeting. That one was high risk, but just watching him move made me want to drag him into the closest room and forget about everyone around us.
When I walked into my office and saw him bent over, extracting something from a filing cabinet, I couldn’t resist closing the door and stroking his beautiful ass. He smiled at me over his shoulder.
“We really can’t keep doing this.” He said a few seconds later when I had him on my desk, legs spread, kissing him until neither of us could breathe.
“Come home with me tonight.”
Ben frowned. “Are you…. You’re really…,”
“I’m really going to fuck you in my bed.”
He swallowed, and I watched the muscles in his throat move. “You want….”