Page 102 of For Your Heart
“Huh,” I say. Now that he’s put that shit into words, I can definitely see that’s how we fall. When I meet my brother’s eyes, it’s like we’re seeing each other as individuals for the first time.
“I’m not sure I like being separate beings,” Declan huffs with a pouty frown.
Again, Simon laughs. “You’re never going to be true individuals because you have no desire to be. But I’m glad you allowed yourselves and each other to follow your own dreams instead of one of you taking on the other’s as a means to stay together 24/7.”
I’d like to pretend that’s not something we’d do, but we’ve done more drastic things to stay together.
“Why did we do that? Why didn’t we choose to stay together, knowing how much it sucks to be apart?”
Because we’re never really apart. That’s why you’re sharing my erection right now.
“Fucker.”
Thirty-Two
SAGE
I have never beenin so much pain in my life. Every single muscle aches from the strain of trying to get some friction on my cock. There’s no pattern, no rhyme or reason to when Damon turns on the butt plug or the dick thing. Sometimes it’s low, just barely there, but enough to make me whine.
Other times it’s so intense that I think I’m about to come. I try desperately to jerk my hips so my dick can find something. Even if it’s just air friction. But I can’t move. I literally cannot move an inch. I’m so thoroughly tied up that I can’t even shift my arms enough to roll.
All I can do is scream into the gag as I beg in my head. Fuck, the entire thing hurts. Especially when he adds the vibration around my balls and dick. I get so close.So close.And then it’s all taken away.
The frantic need in me leads me to tears every time the orgasm is right there, ready to spill over, and then everything is taken away. I clench my ass around the plug, over and over. But I swear, he knows what I’m doing and then strangles my dick with the thing around it, making me practically sob in frustration.
I’m breathless, made even more so every time the vibration turns on. With the gag in my mouth, I feel like I can never truly take a deep enough breath. For some reason, this just heightens everything. Every feeling. Every denial. Every muscle in my body is distraught at being held so completely still.
I don’t know that I’ve ever been forced to stay this still for this long in my entire life. The pediatricians wanted to diagnose me with hyperactive ADHD, but my mother refused to let them. Even if I was a poster child for it. Never sitting still. My mind is unable to keep a single train of thought.
But having a diagnosis of any kind meant that I wasn’t a perfect son. God for-fucking-bid that I was anything other than what she wanted me to be.
Because of that, I was always moving. Always trying to expend the well of pent up energy. Being forced to remain perfectly still, the ability to move being taken away from me, is both a relief and stupidly maddening.
The frustration in it only adds to my current mental and physical fatigue right now.
My face and neck are covered in drool and tears. Although I refuse to think it, probably snot, too. But that’s gross, so I’m just going to say saliva and tears.
The butt plug suddenly turns on again and I cry out as I try to wrench my body into thrusting. The ropes, though smooth and gentle on my skin, don’t chafe but hold me unforgivingly. I can feel the vibration through my entire body as it presses on my bundle of nerves unrelentingly.
My screams fill my head as I try to beg and plead around the ball in my mouth. Tears stream as my dick throbs. Fuck it hurts. My dick hurts so bad with the need to be touched. There’s not even a rope around it. Nothing but the stationary thing at my base.
I’m so close. So very close. My cock tingles. The base of my spine tingles. My balls are so tight. It’s right there. I’m a breath away. Another second.
The sudden grip on my dick and balls has me screaming again. I sob and whine and go lax on the bed. No. No, no, no. I need to get off.
It hurts so bad.
I’m so lost in this haze that I’ve forgotten that Damon is watching and listening to me, even though sometimes I imagine hearing his voice, asking me if I’m okay. Sometimes, I even feel his phantom touch. I’ve forgotten that I’m actually conscious. Hell, I think I forgot that I’m alive. Everything in me hurts. Even the pleasure that pulses through my body hurts. Little bursts ofgoodthat end in thorns.
I’m not even aware when there’s movement on the bed. I swear I can hear Damon’s voice, but I’m pretty sure I’m delirious. That I justwantto hear it. If he can hear me through the tablet, then surely it works both ways, right? That would explain why I hear his voice sometimes.
The grip around my dick comes back and I sob, whining and begging with tears coating my face with the refusal to come. Especially since the pressure in my ass has changed. It burns and stretches and feels so fucking good.
I need to come. I need to come. I need to come.
Not that the words can form, but I repeat them over and over until they’re the only words I know. The only thought. My chant matches the beat to the hard, rhythmic penetration in my ass, robbing me of my breath as it shoves pleasure so forcefully through me that I can’t see straight.
It directly contrasts with the tight grip around my dick, refusing my orgasm.
