Page 108 of For Your Heart
I’m not going to lie, being his sole focus is a high. A trip. He has me hard the entire time and while he constantly returns to my dick to learn everything about that, he never spends much time there. Like he might miss somewhere else.
The way he touches me has everything inside me all warm and cozy; the only words that I can think are filled with awe.This man is mine. How did I make this man mine?
Thirty-Four
SAGE
This morning was really,really good. We spent the night together, Damon, Declan, Zarek, and I. Then me and Zarek went out for breakfast, just the two of us. I love spending time with him. He’s so smart and I love his sass. He’s pretty to look at too.
I also like that there’s someone else in this with me. Someone who feels the same way I do about Simon and the twins’ relationship with him. The fact that they never call it a friendship and refer to it as a relationship says a lot, as far as I’m concerned.
In the last month, Simon’s been around more often. Most of the time with Quin, but sometimes not. The twins are definitely more at ease without Quin, but I think Zarek and I feel better when he’s there too. Simon isn’t oblivious to it, but because Declan and Damon are polite, he doesn’t say anything.
Simon doesn’t talk about himself a lot. He’ll talk about his job and he talks about their friend Vulcan. He talks a lot about Quin’s job. It’s obvious how proud he is of Quin. They also talk about the new not-for-profit LGBT+ organization that Quin’s father began. That’s the one and only conversation the twins actually get in on. From what I can tell, they’ve spent a lot of time at pride parades and got involved in several LGBT groups since they were teenagers. And always dragged Simon along with them.
Zarek is more comfortable around Simon now. I think he actually really likes Simon as a person, which leaves him warring inside because his jealousy is evident when Declan touches Simon at all.
And really, the twins have a hard timenottouching Simon. I’m not sure they realize how often they do. It’s like they do it subconsciously.
I remind myself that this is exactly how they’ve always been. Since they were kids. It originated because Simon lost both his parents and the twins wanted to make sure he knew he was still loved and wanted.
That helps. But I’m not sure Zarek knows all that. I want to tell him because I think it’ll help him understand better but it’s not my story to tell. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to and I don’t want to break the new friendship between me and Simon.
Maybe I should encourage Declan to tell him, though.
When we’re done with breakfast, we head to the market and do some grocery shopping for the week. It’s been fun being in this big relationship. We kind of rotate through our houses now. Sometimes at Declan and Damon’s, sometimes mine, and recently we’ve been visiting Zarek’s too. I love that we have several homes.
It means that we buy four times as much of a meal, but we also split those meals between us. Then there are nights where I’m not with them at all. When Simon’s home and they do their thing. Honestly, I do everything I cannotto think about them together. It’s me mentally telling myself that Simon is asexual. Simon has a boyfriend who trusts them together. Alone and naked and washing each other.
I spend those nights with Jordan and River to get baby snuggles. It’s not newborn snuggles anymore since Sparrow is a few months old now. Fourteen weeks, I think? The more time I spend holding and playing with their baby, I find that I crave one as well. I didn’t think I would, but for some reason, I really do. I want a baby with Damon. How do we make that happen?
After moseying along the market and just spending time together, Zarek and I go our separate ways. Because I have fresh produce and meat that needs to be put away, I don’t dally on my way home. When it takes me a few trips from my car, I realize maybe I enjoyed shopping a little too much today.
I’m just unloading everything onto the island and folding the last bag when I hear my front door open. I still, my heart racing, as I silently beg whatever might be out there that it’s Damon.
Please be Damon. Please be Damon. Please. Please.
“Honey?”
Everything inside me turns cold. I can literally feel my blood draining as dread settles over me. I should have locked my door. If my hands weren’t so full, I would have.
She comes around the corner and smiles, but I’m already tense because I know that smile is a lie. She’s not actually happy to see me. It’s a matter of seconds—not minutes, but seconds—before she finds something that isn’t good enough for her.
Behind her is Sammy. She looks small next to my mother and kind of sunk in on herself as she looks at me with big, pleading eyes. I turn away because I really don’t want to look at her. I don’t want to feel sorry for how much she unwittingly got wrapped up in this mess. She showed up to my work. That’s all I need to remind myself that she’s no longer an innocent party.
“Honey, you’re home!” my mother says, still smiling as she looks over all my groceries laid out. I’m surprised when she has nothing to say. It’s all healthy. Even the lean cuts of meat that I have wrapped in paper from the butcher. “You’ve obviously been super busy since you haven’t been taking my calls. Do you have a new girlfriend you’re hiding?”
I scowl at her and turn away as my shaking hands fumble with my phone. “I don’t have a girlfriend and I never will,” I mutter as I manage to turn on my phone and send a plea to Jordan. He’s close. And it’s Sunday, so I think they’re home.
She sighs in exasperation. “You’re still on this? This… thisgaything? Oh, honey, you need to get over that and get back together with Sammy.”
“I haven’t canceled the flowers yet,” Sammy says, her voice quiet. “We can still get married in the summer.”
My stomach churns. “I’m not marrying you,” I bite out and then remind myself that she’s not really to blame for all this. She’s not, despite showing up at my work.
“Look at me, Sage,” my mother says and as if I’m still that eight-year-old desperately seeking his mother’s love and approval, I turn to face her. “It’s time you become a respectable adult. Enough of this disgusting behavior.”
Pressing my lips together, I stare at her without seeing as she continues to tell me how much of a disappointment I am. How she’s done everything to make sure I have the perfect life and I repay her by choosing men over a nice girl like Sammy. I need to stop rebelling. I need to stop punishing her for not buying me the skateboard I wanted when I was twelve by pretending to like boys.
