Page 27 of For Your Heart
“With me.”
“Yes,” I say, smiling a little. “I’m aware of who I’m with.”
His eyes flicker up to mine and away again. “Are you?” he whispers.
Oh. I pull him close, my hand in his hair. “Look at me.” He does and I can see the hurt in his eyes now. Fuck’s sake. “I’m sorry. This is going to sound lame but it has nothing to do with you.”
“It’s not you, it’s me?”
I snort. “As I said: lame. But at least sometimes, that’s the case. I swear, Sage, this is entirely on me.”
“I didn’t… do something wrong?”
Jesus, this man. But he’s asking in such a way that I feel like he’s been told that before. I frown. “No, Sage. I’m in a really bad place right now.” I tip his face up because he keeps looking down. “Did you know that I’ve never slept with the same man more than once?”
His eyes widen. “How many men?”
I smirk without answering. “Listen. I’m in no way able to offer you more than fucking. But I like what we do. I like how excited you are. How much you smile. How eager you are to please. The way you beg to come.”
He grumbles. “You’re mean.”
Grinning, I rub a thumb over his lip. “I’m enjoying exploring some things with you, like tying you up. I want to do more of that. But this is all I can give you, Sage. Please understand that if I even considered trying anything more right now, I’d be hurting you a lot. I don’t want that and you don’t deserve that.”
Sage stares at me for a long time. He’s such an open book that, now that I’m looking, I can see that this might mean a lot more to him than it does me. It would be kinder to end it now. Especially now that I see the way he’s looking at me.
I’m selfish enough that I don’t want to.
“Can we be friends too?” he asks with so much hope in his voice that I feel like I’m dealing with a puppy again.
“Yeah,” I say and I’m surprised to feel that I mean it. “I’d like to be friends.”
He nods. “So we can do friend things too?”
“What did you have in mind?”
Sage sits up, a smile on his face once again. “Want to put together a puzzle with me?”
For a minute, I think he’s joking. But the way he’s staring with his wide golden brown eyes, his big smile, the slight blush on his cheeks… he’s not joking at all.
When’s the last time I did a puzzle? Have I ever done a puzzle?
I’m surprised again when I find myself nodding. “All right.”
Sage beams and jumps out of bed. No, really. Hejumpsout of bed. Excitable puppy indeed.
He doesn’t dress as he leaves the room, his junk swinging between his legs. Well, at least I can look at that when I want to. While I enjoy being mostly naked, I’ve gotten used to underwear, so I slip mine back on and follow him out. I don’t find him in the main part of the house, so I head back into the hallway.
He’s in what I thought was an office. As I step in the doorway, he’s still butt naked as he sets up a card table. Then he opens the closet door and I’m faced with shelves. A whole lot of shelves. They’re stacked with boxes of all shapes.
The man looks at me shyly, his face heating deliciously. “I like puzzles,” he says quietly. “I have a lot. Want to pick one?”
It’s clear that he wants me to, so I move into the room to stand next to him. He’s fidgeting because he’s nervous, so I wrap an arm around his waist and pull him close, kissing his cheek. “I’ve never seen so many in one place.”
“I love to do puzzles,” he admits. “It’s calming. The patterns and repetition allow me to relax.”
“You don’t relax?” I ask, teasing.
He flushes deeper and Jesus, I want to lick him. Instead, I press another kiss to his cheek, this time hitting the corner of his mouth. “I like that you’re bouncy,” I tell him quietly. “I like to tie you up and force you to be still so I can fuck you properly.”
