Page 50 of For Your Heart
“Want to come over for baby snuggles later?” he asks.
I smile. “Yeah, okay.” I really want adult snuggles. But they’ve never snuggled me. “Thanks. I’m sorry I called during nap time.”
Jordan chuckles. “It’s always nap time. We’ll see you later.”
Hanging up the phone, I smile a little. Knowing I’m lucky enough to have found some good friends, even if they left me a little more confused than I was. I don’t feel so out of control though, so that’s something. I also don’t really want to face Damon.
When I head inside, I go to the boss and tell him I’m not feeling well. I don’t have any clients this afternoon anyway since the one I had needed to reschedule for tomorrow. He lets me leave and I basically run out of the building with my tail between my legs and don’t look over my shoulder.
I don’t look at anyone. Don’t make eye contact. I feel like an idiot. A little helpless and out of control.
For a second, I sit in my car and close my eyes, resting my head back and just breathing. Thinking over everything my friends said. Over the conversation with Damon yesterday. Was there even a little smidge of something in his expression when he left that said I’d fucked up in spilling all that on him?
But he came after me! That means something, right?
“No,” I say to myself out loud. No more. I promised I wouldn’t do this. I want someone to love me for me. As I am. And I don’t need to fall in love with the first man I sleep with. Who does that?! Good grief, I’m a sappy teen movie. Where’s the love triangle?
Snorting, I start my car and pull out. I suppose there already is one. Damon’s in love with his best friend, after all. That’s already an epic level tragedy.
I don’t drive to Jordan and River’s house right away. They said later. I’m sure they didn’t mean in ten minutes. But I also don’t want to go home. So I drive around aimlessly for far too long, spreading my carbon emissions into the air like it’s perfume and not toxic.
It’s supposed to clear my head but instead, everything that’s happened since Damon agreed to have sex with me just keeps repeating in my head. Playing over and over and over again. By six when I pull into my friends’ driveway, I’m hard as a rock, there’s a phantom pulse around my wrists where he had me tied up last time, and my head is a damn mess.
Stepping up to their door, I knock and wait. Urging my body to calm down. This is very inappropriate.
River opens the door and smiles. When they go to hug me, I kind of turn sideways, which they don’t miss. River looks at me, their eyes trailing down my body before meeting my face with a smirk. I’m a darn oven again by the way my skin is on fire.
“Happy to see me, sweetheart?” they ask.
I flinch.
River just chuckles and lets me in. I stall while I toe off my shoes before following. Jordan takes one look at me and grins. “Look at you, waving hello.”
“Oh jeez,” I mutter and quickly sit, adjusting myself in my gym shorts. Honestly, the only way I wouldn’t be more obvious was if I weren’t wearing underwear.
They chuckle. “Put your weapon away and you can cuddle our son. He’s far too young to be introduced to that.”
I roll my eyes. “Keep talking. You’re helping.”
River laughs and I can’t help it. I smile. They don’t actually wait until I’m back to normal. As soon as River approaches with Sparrow, I may as well have been doused with icy water; my stiffy deflates immediately. They set Sparrow in my arms, and I immediately cuddle him close. Breathing in his new baby scent.
“Has he done anything exciting yet?” I ask.
“You’re going to have to be more specific,” River says as they sink onto the couch next to Jordan. Jordan wraps an arm around their shoulder, tucking them into his side. “Sleeping for three solid hours is exciting, as far as I’m concerned.”
“Honestly,” Jordan mutters, yawning.
“I’d volunteer to babysit while you nap, but I’m not sure I’m ready for diaper duty,” I say. “Or feeding.”
“Just keep him covered until you’re ready to put a new one on,” River says.
“And always keep your mouth closed,” Jordan adds. “Piss in your mouth is disgusting. Don’t ask how I know that.”
It’s a struggle not to burst out laughing.
My phone pings in my pocket, so I shift to pull out my phone. My heart stops when I see that the notification is from Damon. I just stare, unsure what to do. Do I open it? Ignore it? Read it then ignore it?
“What’s wrong?” River asks.
