Page 68 of For Your Heart
I pretend that the irrational anger that sweeps through me is due to something else entirely. Not because he has a relationship with someone else that I’m not a part of. Not because it hurts that he went elsewhere when he needed something instead of us.
“Yes, like that,” I say. When his frown doesn’t deepen, I think I did rather well keeping my voice neutral and void of the hostility inside me. He wasn’t wrong. I am filled with that angry violence toward Stommer. Warranted or not.
In my mind, he’s always going to be the person who took Simon. It will always be his fault that things broke between us. I don’t even care if that’s an outright lie, a stretch of the truth, or something in the middle. It will always be his fault. Period.
“Okay, but why do you feel stressed tonight?” Simon asks.
“Because we’re falling for someone else and it hurts.”
I try to ignore Declan’s thoughts.I’m not falling for anyone.Then squint, completely ignoring Declan’s scoff.
“I… don’t want to say,” I say eventually.
“You think I’m going to be mad?”
“No.”
“You think it’s going to hurt me?”
“No.”
“Does it hurt you?”
“I hate that you eventually hit the truth,” Declan mutters.
Simon twists to look at him. “What hurts? Tell me. Please.”
“I don’t… I met someone.” Declan holds his breath. I do too.
Simon’s lips twitch. “I meet people every day. It happens in the fields we chose.”
Declan bites into his neck, making Simon squeal and laugh. For a minute, we forget the conversation and sink our teeth into his soft flesh as he squirms and laughs between us. Just like when we were kids.
But then he twists, and he circles his arms around us both. Holding us tightly to him. Our foreheads press together. “I love you too,” he whispers. “What are their names?”
“Sage,” I say as Declan answers, “Zarek.”
He smiles. “It’s cute that you can’t meet people on your own time.”
“I wasn’t using ‘cute’ as the word to describe it but yeah, I was just thinking that,” I say.
“Why does it hurt?” Simon asks, his fingers pressing gently into our heads, massaging our scalps like we always do for him. I’m not purring like he does, but it feels good and reassuring all the same. I can see why he likes it.
“Because… I’m afraid that it’s going to fall apart. You might have gotten strangely… lucky.” The way Declan says the word is clear that it wasn’t his first choice. “To have found someone who accepts this. Us. The way we are. But if growing up together for the last fifteen years has taught us anything, it’s that Stommer is an exception and sure as fuck isn’t a rule to how people feel about this.”
“And I’m not willing to change it,” I add. “This is ours. It’s as necessary as breathing.”
“Have you told them about us?” Simon asks and I can’t help the way my heart stutters. Us.
“Yes,” I say. “But hearing it and seeing it are different. Hearing it and then getting involved with someone and expecting them to be okay with it, support it, and not get angry or jealous or whatever, is just…”
“Unlikely,” Declan finishes.
“Not impossible,” Simon says. He kisses us both quickly before giving us what I feel is a flirty smile but I’m not sure that’s intentional on his part. Now that I think about it, I don’t know that I’ve ever seen him flirt. With anyone.
We pull away in unison, leaving Simon smirking at us. No doubt he feels our twin chubbies growing against him.
“You really think someone is going to be okay with this?” Declan asks, rocking his hips against Simon’s ass.
