Page 70 of For Your Heart
Sage tilts his head, his smile broad. “That’s pretty wild.”
I nod. “Yeah, it can be intense sometimes.”
“I always wanted a sibling.” He frowns. “But then I was pretty glad I didn’t get one. No one else should have to suffer through my mother like I did. Although, they’d probably have been straight, so they’d have been the favorite.”
“You don’t know that. My twin is as gay as I am.”
“Gayer.”
I chuckle and shake my head. “It’s not an odds thing, like gender. It just is.”
“You think so?”
Nodding, I squeeze his hand. “Yep. Some families have all gay children, others have none. Some have a mix. But more than people would like to admit, there are a whole lot of different sexualities within the people you speak to every day. They just don’t broadcast it because of the stigma against anything other than straight.”
Sage sighs. “Yeah. It’s kind of stupid. Making so much of the population feel like shit because they don’t love the same way the majority does. Who cares who I have sex with? Why does it matter?”
I nod and a conversation that we’ve had jokingly with Simon pops up in my mind. Declan pauses as well when the words echo. Biting my lip, I glance at Sage. He’s watching out the window at the trees and the signs we pass.
“Sage?”
He looks at me, and I can feel his excited energy. Always excited. I smile because I love it.
“You know that I’ve been with a lot of guys, right?”
Sage deflates a little, but his brows knit together in confusion as he nods. “Yes?”
“I just mean, I was a pretty big slut.” I smirk, especially as Declan rolls his eyes and then has to explain why he did to Zarek. “Especially when I got to college.”
“Okay. Yes, I think I knew that.”
I glance at him to find him watching me. “If it comes up, I didn’t want you to be caught off guard. That’s all.”
“Oh,” he says and turns thoughtful as he stares at me. Studying me. “How many guys?”
I grunt and feel Declan smirk this time. “Umm… I have no idea. I rarely went back to the same dick twice.”
“Because they weren’t good?” he asks. The innocence in this man is adorable.
“No. I don’t know. Sometimes my brother and I would trade off and the guy wouldn’t know the difference during the second time. Even though they see us together when we hook up.”
“You always hooked up together?”
Even though I feel this conversation is going to lead somewhere I’m not sure we’re ready to discuss, I answer anyway. “The first handful of times, no. But it was… frustrating. It took us a while to figure out because we weren’t together, everything felt… off. But once we figured that out, yeah. Always, together.”
Sage sighs. “That’s not weird?”
Licking my lips, I shake my head. Words. I need the right words, so he’s not spooked. “No, it’s weirdnotto be with him for anything. It feels like my skin is constantly itchy. It doesn’t fit right. An ache inside me expands the longer we’re apart. Especially when something is high effort or energy, physically or mentally. Like sex. More than that, the turmoil in our minds becomes unbearable. I’m a tornado and he’s a hurricane. When we’re together, the two storms seem to cancel each other out. But when we’re apart, they feed on each other, and we can get… rather belligerent.”
“That’s really… interesting. But… he hasn’t been here when we...” His words cut off as he stares at me with wide eyes. “Have you ever swapped? Has it always been you? Are youyounow? How will I know?”
I laugh quietly and kiss the back of his hand, biting his knuckles lightly. “Easy, Najee. Eventually you’ll learn the difference between us.”
“But… how?” There’s panic building in his voice.
Maybe we need to get different haircuts.
“No.”
