Page 78 of For Your Heart
“You didn’t know he did that?”
Simon shakes his head again. “No. He never told me.”
I sigh at having to admit this shit. Declan walks in the door then and falls into us, wrapping his arms around us both. Once, he might have sat behind Simon, his touch focused on our best friend. Recently, his touch—our touch—is always for each other, too. Something that Simon does not miss at all. Something he clearly approves of, though we all ignore it for the time being.
“He’s always been protecting you. And I’m really… thankful”—the word is painful to say—“that he’s been there for you this entire time. That he helps you through everything. While it hurts to know you didn’t come to us, and that you kept these things from us, I’m really, really glad you had someone you trusted enough to talk about these things with.”
Simon sighs. “I like the compliments,” he says, “but I need you to understand it wasn’t really a choice of telling youorhim. He was there as I stumbled across these things and he saw—still sees—me freak out and then we spend time trying to figure out why I feel the way I do. I promise, it’s not that I don’t want you to know some things about me. It’s never that. I hate the secrets I keep.”
“I have a secret to tell you,” Declan says and Zarek’s bare ass marked with red welts flashes through my mind. His thoughts, not mine. His memory, not mine. So I give him one of my own—Sage bound tighter than fucking gorilla glue.
“What?” Simon asks.
Declan studies his face for a minute before saying, “I like to leave Zarek covered in welts. Bites. Bruises. It turns out that I love impact play.”
Simon’s eyes are wide. “Impact play?”
“Spanking,” Declan says, smiling slightly. “My hand, crops. Floggers, cords, paddles.” He shrugs nonchalantly, but I can feel his nerves making his heart race wildly. “I love the way he breaks down. How he cries and just… releases everything.”
“I love him.”
I swallow at the words that Declan doesn’t say out loud. For the first time ever, I understand Simon’s hesitation to speak about some things. I feel the struggle of wanting to, but too afraid to put it into verbal words. That you say out loud. To someone you’ve been in love with for years.
“Does he like it?” Simon asks.
Declan smirks. “So fucking much.”
Simon smiles and looks at me. “Do you like that too?”
I shake my head and then shrug. “Maybe? But I prefer bondage.”
Simon’s eyes go wide again.
“I tie Sage up like a fucking present until he can’t move a muscle. Until he’s helpless. I love to hear him beg when he’s completely under my control and at my mercy. I love to take my pleasure in him when he can’t do anything at all, but feel everything I do to him.”
His lips are parted as he stares.
Before he can ask, I nod. “Yes, he likes it.”
Simon exhales a quiet laugh. His deep sigh is filled with relief and I swear, I feel that, too. I feel how deep it runs.
“One more thing,” Declan says and I tense, knowing what he’s going to say. Simon looks between the two of us, clearly feeling the tension and hesitation, too. “We… like to share our partners with each other.”
Simon smirks. “I already knew that.”
“No,” Declan says and I’m thankful he’s able to talk, even though his voice is slightly strained. The lump in my throat refuses to let me say the words out loud. “Those times were just in the same place. This is… very different from that.”
Simon tilts his head and I can tell he’s trying to picture it. I lean forward and press my mouth to his as I say the words. “We like to fuck them against each other. Together.”
Simon shivers. Swallows. His eyes are closed. “That’s really…” His voice trails off and my mind races as I wait for his answer. Please don’t let him be disgusted. Please don’t let him be— His smile cuts off my fear-filled thoughts. “Why haven’t you invited me to this play time?”
My eyes widen, and Simon laughs quietly before wrapping his arms around my neck and hugging me. He kisses me and it’s not just the simple peck that we used to do. But I realize as he kisses me that those pecks morphed a long time ago.
It’s not deep. There’s no tongue. But it’s still intimate and meaningful.
“You don’t like sex,” Declan says quietly, his words pausing my kiss with Simon.
Simon sighs and I realize that there are still things he hasn’t said. He nods but doesn’t expand. “Yeah,” he answers. “I don’t like sex. Not like you do. Not in a way that has a place in your bed with your boyfriends.”
