Page 93 of For Your Heart
His lips hover over mine as he stares into my eyes. It’s one of those strange mirror moments. Where you’re seeing yourself in the mirror and then another copy in the mirror within the mirror. And it just repeats endlessly. I see Declan. But I also see myself through Declan’s eyes. It echoes over and over and over.
Then we’re jumping as a rapid, hard knock on the door startles us. Our hearts jump as we stare, eyes widening. Were we expecting company?
Declan takes a deep breath and climbs off me to get the door. I lean forward, pressing my forehead into my palms, my fingers digging into my hair and my elbows on my knees. I take a deep breath. Need to be sane to socialize with whoever showed up uninvited and unannounced. The door opens and Sage’s voice makes my head snap up.
“I didn’t sleep at all. I really think I’m falling for you and don’t know what to do about it because I can’t see that again. It hurts. I didn’t think it would hurt, but it does. But I can’t just tell you it hurts because he’s your best friend. I know it’s not fair, but I need to tell you how I feel. And I feel—”
“Sage,” Declan says and Sage stops talking.
His rambling is adorable. My chest hurts all over again. Fuck, it’s hurt so much these last months, I’m pretty sure I’m weakening my heart with all this emotional shit going on in my life.
I’m on my feet coming near them when Sage says, “Declan?”
Declan nods, gives him a small smile. He gently touches Sage’s cheek and Sage closes his eyes. Then I’m there and Sage looks at me. For a second, he sways, but then he practically falls into my arms.
I catch him. My big man is heavy and shaking; I shouldn’t be able to hold him, but I do. Because I’ll never let him fall.
We don’t speak as Declan closes the door and returns to the couch. I just hold Sage as he trembles. I think he’s crying. It makes the unshed tears in my eyes sting more.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “In hindsight, maybe the club wasn’t the best place for a first meeting.”
“No,” he agrees. “But I don’t know if working up to that moment would have helped. I can’t stop seeing it.”
I sigh. What am I supposed to do right now? “I don’t know how to choose between two people I love, Sage. I can’t be without either of you.”
He springs from my arms and looks at me with wide eyes, so I wait. When he doesn’t talk, his mouth opening and closing several times, I hedge, “What’s wrong?”
“Y-you love me?”
Oh. Yeah, what a way to say it.
“I don’t know. That was pretty memorable.”
I’d say fuck you, but we’re in a fragile state right now, so I’m just going to flip you off instead. Enjoy my finger, twin.
Declan smiles, but it’s not from the banter that I feel between us. It’s his warmth. His love. His sadness.
“Yes,” I tell Sage. “I love you. I’m not sure when I fell in love with you, but I’ve loved you for a while now.”
I’m a little startled by the tears that drip down his face. Many. Quickly. Should I apologize? I don’t think that’s the response I was prepared for.
“I love you too,” he says, his quick, beaming smile spreading across his face. I’m not sure if it’s his familiar exuberant look and tone or that he loves me too that has me filled with a heavy feeling ofmine.
Reaching for him, he falls back into me, and I hold him tightly. The reality isn’t this realization and declaration, though. This won’t be a magic fix. If it adds anything to this situation, it’s a further complication.
“I want to be with you,” I tell him. “But I don’t know how to make this work. Simon is a permanent fixture in my life, Sage.”
He shivers. “I know.” His voice is barely a whisper. “I don’t know what I wanted when I came over here.” He pulls away to look at me again and his eyes are wide once more. “You should know that I broke the law and went into the computer system at work to find your address. You can press charges against me. But I didn’t know how else to find you without just texting you to ask and then I didn’t want to talk over text or the phone and I might have lost my courage to come here.”
I press a finger to his lips to stop his nervous ramble. “You can look up my damn blood type for all I care. I’m just glad you’re here.”
“You are?”
I kiss him lightly. “Yes. I need to know that we can figure this out. Together.”
“But… you told me you’re in love with someone else,” he says, the hurt in his voice clear.
Sighing, I pull him deeper into the house and fall onto the couch with him. I keep Declan close because I need his touch and I know he needs mine. “Look at me.” Sage does, then I frame his face in my hands. “I love Simon with everything in me. I love Declan with everything in me. While I’d like to be able to tell you that my love for Simon is… sibling-like. Or platonic at best. I think you know that’s not the case.”
