Page 94 of For Your Heart
“I love you with just as much of me, Sage,” I say quietly. “But it’s very different from how I love either of them. It’s no less. Definitely not any less. But this love? It’s all yours. I’m not sharing it with anyone else.”
Sage’s breath catches. “Really?”
“Really?”
I smile. “All yours,” I say again and ignore the way my brother huffs in my head. He knows. He’s a part of everything, including this. But being a part of this love doesn’t make it any less completely for Sage. Because this love comes from me. From us. And it’s for Sage alone.
“Sappy fucking psycho.”
Sage takes a breath. “But… I mean. I like that. Actually, I really love that. I just… I don’t know how to be accepting of what I saw with Simon. I know I need to if we’re going to be together, but the way it made me feel.” He shakes his head, tears coming to his eyes again.
“I won’t pretend I don’t understand because I really do. You have a very real idea of how much I hate seeing Stommer touching Simon. But Najee, this isn’t a love triangle. This is me and you. In this capacity. No one else is a part of it.”
“You say all the right things,” he says.
Pulling his mouth to mine, I quietly laugh. “I love you, Sage Rossi, and I want to keep you forever. All we need to agree on right now is that we’ll work together to find a way to make that happen. If you want the same thing.”
“Yes. I do. It’s what I’ve wanted for so, so long. I was just afraid to tell you.”
I kiss him again. “I know, Sage.”
“You do?” His eyes shoot wide again.
Laughing, I nod and hug him tightly. The way he melts into my arms just does it for me. I want to stay like this forever. To keep this big puppy in my arms. I want my brother by my side with his man. I want…
Fucking hell.
“We’ll take smaller steps with Simon. Okay?”
He swallows. “Okay.”
“You want to be with me enough to try? I think we both know it’s not going to be easy on our relationship.”
“Are you going to be my boyfriend now?” he asks, his voice small and hopeful.
I meet my brother’s eyes. There’s a tiny smile on his face.“Such a fucking adorable puppy.”
“Yes,” I tell him. “But you should know that I really don’t like that word. You’re more than that.”
“What am I?” he whispers, fidgeting.
“Mine. In whatever way I want you. Tied up in bows and begging for an orgasm. Or wrapped in my arms so I can hug you. Or sitting in a chair where I can hand feed you. With my brother where I can watch. No matter what we’re doing or where we are, Sage Rossi, you belong to me. Understand?”
His fingers dig into my ribs. “Yes. That’s all I want to be.”
Thirty
SAGE
I feel betterafter the reassurances, but I still have a hard timenotseeing them dance together when I close my eyes. The sight makes my stomach fall. There’s a part of me that screams I’m never going to be enough to keep him happy if he needs Simon that way.
It’s not a fair feeling. I don’t even think it’s accurate. Well, maybe it’s not. My life has been a series of ‘never enough’ so maybe I’m just not. My therapist would tell me that’s stupid (not in those words, of course) because that’s how my mother made me feel in her quest to manipulate me. Iknowthat.
Some lessons are hard to unlearn.
It’s Wednesday now and I’ve spent every evening after work at Damon’s condo with him and Declan. Zarek isn’t answering Declan with more than vague texts when he bothers to text back. Damon doesn’t want to leave his brother alone. I understand that.
I’m sitting in Damon’s lap and though I’m definitely bigger than him, somehow I fit there as he holds me like I’m a child. Tucked into his arms. His chin on my head. His hands run soothingly over me, anywhere they can reach.
