Page 95 of For Your Heart
Declan sits close, and though his eyes are open, he’s not seeing anything at all. I wonder if he and Damon are talking in their minds. It’s a very strange concept, but I don’t doubt what they say. The world is full of stranger things than twins having the ability to communicate mentally.
“Declan?” I ask.
He looks at me, blinking until his eyes focus.
“Want to cuddle?”
I’m not sure he hears me for a minute, but then he gives me a little smile. “Thanks.”
I reach out my arm and he shifts until he’s leaning against us. Damon and I each wrap an arm around him and pull him close. He sighs.
“Do you want me to talk to him?” I ask.
Declan laughs quietly. “No, but thanks for offering.”
The television is on but the volume is so low, it’s just a quiet murmur. We’re not watching it, anyway. It’s just there for background noise. Before I can suggest that he give me Zarek’s number because we’re friends, the front door opens and the three of us turn toward it.
Simon comes in with a box in his hands. As he’s kicking off his shoes, he’s saying, “I know that ice cream is the traditional sweet for these moments, but we prefer cake as our dessert of choice, so I compromised and got an ice cream cake.” He looks up and stops, his eyes landing on me.
I hold my breath and wait, eyes wide. Wondering what’s about to happen.
Simon breaks out in a wide grin, his shoulders releasing some of the tension he was carrying. “Sage,” he says, almost in relief.
“Hi,” I say tentatively.
His eyes flick between the twins before he says he’s going to put the dessert into the freezer. I hear him move around the condo and remind myself that he lives here too. He pays the mortgage. He shares their bed. Their closet and clothes.
I forcefully shove all those thoughts away as he steps back into the living area. His eyes fall to Declan and he frowns. “Dec,” he says, his voice filled with sadness.
Declan sits up. Damon and I let him go as he reaches for Simon, pulling him onto his lap. Simon straddles him and hugs him fiercely, one hand in Declan’s hair where he brings his face into his neck. “I’m sorry,” he says quietly.
Declan doesn’t answer. I watch as his arms tighten, hugging Simon close. So close there’s no space between them. Logically, I know that I’m sitting in Damon’s lap. That’s not Damon wrapped so intimately around Simon. But the way my heart races, I’m not sure it knows that. Nor does my stomach as it starts to churn.
When I look up, I find Simon watching me.
“I know what you think, but I promise you, that’s not what happens between us,” Simon says quietly.
“It’s not sexual,” I say, though my voice sounds like I swallowed sandpaper. Damon hugs me.
Simon gives me half a smile. “And it’s never going to be.”
“How can you know that? You’re so… close.”
This time, his smile is amused. “I’m asexual.”
I stare. After a second of trying to figure out if he’s just telling me that, I sit up to look at him more clearly. “You are?”
He laughs quietly, his fingers still carding through Declan’s hair. “Yes. I am. I thought you knew that.”
Looking at Damon, he smiles and shrugs. “It’s a relatively new discovery, and I wasn’t sure how comfortable you were putting it out there, so no, I never repeated it.”
“Thanks,” Simon says. “I’m…” He laughs again. “That’s probably the easiest thing to accept about all the weird hollows inside me.”
I stare at Simon again, having no idea what he’s thinking. He looks at me again. “Did you know I lost my parents when I was ten?” he asks.
I shrug a little. I knew something about it.
Simon nods absently, his gaze going vague. He rests his head against Declan’s and sighs. “I was ten. Barely ten. My mom was diagnosed with cancer after she’d been sick for a couple weeks. She was dead within two weeks of her diagnosis. It moved rapidly. Watching my mom become so violently sick as quickly as she did and then just… disappear one day completely wrecked me. We were close. I was close with both my parents. They were always hugging me and telling me how much they loved me. That I was their perfect son. They were so proud of how smart I was.” He pauses and I sniff, my vision blurring as he quietly tells me about his pain. “After my mom’s funeral, my dad started drinking. It got… really bad. I don’t honestly know how long I was left in that house while he drank himself into alcohol induced blackouts. I always wish I never saw him like that. Passed out in his own vomit. Reeking of alcohol, vomit, and piss. I think several days went by where I had nothing. I’d already eaten everything in the kitchen.Everything.I stopped going to school because I didn’t have any clean clothes. The house was disgusting, so I couldn’t even go out wearing what I had; there was no surface I could touch that was clean. Damon and Declan’s mom came to check on me and she pulled me out of there.”
