Page 69 of Lacey's Fight

Gently picking up the toy, he clutched it to his chest as he sank to the floor. However he felt about it he cared for Lacey, the idea of losing her as he’d lost Jemima was all but paralyzing. Images of her hanging from the ceiling, bleeding and violated, mixed with ones of his wife, hacked to death by a madman.

Could he risk possible loss for a second chance at happiness?

Clutching the ragdoll, Ben finally allowed himself the release of shedding tears for his beautiful wife.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

August 14th

7:47 A.M.

Was there anything better than sun, sand, and surf?

Lacey didn’t think so.

Growing up in the icy cold of Alaska, she had been the one who was always complaining about the cold. Her sisters didn’t love the cold, well Pearl did, but they didn’t seem to hate it the same way she did.

This was her happy place.

Clear blue sky, the sun a huge golden ball of delicious heat, the sand warm under her toes, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore soothing her tired mind and rejuvenating her soul. So long as she wasn’t in the ocean, she loved watching it and listening to it.

Today was going to be the first day of the rest of her life.

A life where she truly was happy rather than pretending to be.

Talking with her sisters yesterday had been a lot more cathartic than she thought it would have been, and this morning she’d called Prey’s temporary psychiatrist to set up a session. Lacey would have preferred to speak with Prey’s on-staff counsellor, but Piper Hamilton had just been through a horrific ordeal and was still recovering. Would be recovering for a long time to come. The woman had been through hell and had physical and psychological injuries that would leave scars. After their talk yesterday, she and her sisters had packed a care package of things they hoped would help Piper at least a little bit and sent it off to New York.

At least Piper wasn’t alone.

According to Prey gossip, Piper and Alpha Team member Antonio “Arrow” Eden had gotten together and were head over heels in love. Lacey was so glad that Piper would have his support as well the support of all of Alpha Team, plus team leader Bear’s wife Mackenzie, and Mouse’s new wife Phoebe.

Prey was like one big family made up of a whole bunch of smaller families. Her own little family had grown a lot over the past few months with Roman and then Jesse joining them, but Ben wouldn’t be part of it.

He wouldn’t be there for her now or in the future. Ben had been more than clear about what he wanted, and it wasn’t her, so she had determined she wasn’t going to waste another second worrying about him.

What could have been obviously wasn’t meant to be, and so it was time to figure out what was going to be.

She was in control of her life. She could do or have whatever she wanted. It was time to stop trying to scramble for control of herself and accept that she was free now, had been for a while, and that anything was possible.

Lacey didn’t know yet if her future would include a man, but she did know that for now she was done with the one-night stands. She knew she hadn’t been doing anything wrong, but in a way, she had because she’d been having sex for the wrong reasons. Controlling her own orgasms didn’t help her move on from her past, accepting her issues and addressing them would.

It was freeing, to let go of that burden, and she wished she’d done it a long time ago.

As she stared out at the waves she watched as a couple of kids chased each other through the shallows. They looked so happy and carefree, so normal. If she ever had children, this was the kind of life she wanted them to have. The complete opposite of what she’d lived.

A little boy ran through the sand in front of her, the string of a kite in his hand. The kite was fluttering behind the child, not really flying, but it was staying off the ground at least. Eyes sparkling in delight, a toddler was following along behind, clapping her hands, and squealing like the kite was soaring high in the sky.

No way could she watch them and not smile. When you witnessed such innocent joy, it put everything in perspective. While that mission with Ben had cost her a lot personally, they had saved a lot of innocent women and a lot of people had been taken into custody.

She did good in the world, and that soothed a lot of the pain of her childhood.

The Master was still out there. Somehow he’d slipped away after attacking her, and while that definitely put a damper on the mission she wasn’t going to focus on it.

Life was too short to dwell.

So she wasn’t.

Happiness was where you found it, and she intended to find it in her family, her friends, her job, and herself.

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