Page 32 of Cougar

“I have to help him.” I attempt to walk away from John, and he grabs my hand, pulling me back.

“Birdie, I can’t let you.” I raise my eyebrow, ready to retort, but he continues. “He isn’t stable. He needs to get this out.”

“John. I appreciate you looking out for me. I do. But I promise he will not hurt me. Ever.”

“I—” his mouth moves as if he’s willing to make words come out, but all of them are stuck in place. I squeeze his hand before letting go. I get to the open pen, and I can tell the guys aren’t sure if I should go in or not. They look back at John, and maybe it’s some weird-ass MC code I don’t know about, but when they turn back to me, none of them stop me.

Stepping in, I walk up behind my dad. He’s holding Matilda’s head. She’s the pig I got him. He’s crying over her, and it breaks me. “Daddy?” He doesn’t say anything, but I know him. I see the hitch in his body, letting me know he heard me. I walk along the side of him so he can see me out of the corner of his eye. When I am where I need to be, on the opposite side of Matilda, I drop into the dirt and shit mixture, not giving a single fuck about anything other than him.

“Daddy, I’m so sorry,” I tell him as I place my hand on his, the one that is holding her, and my other on the back of his neck.

“Wh-ho w-w-would do th-this?” he asks in broken sobs. “M-my ba-bies.”

“I don’t know, Daddy, I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. Tears of my own falling down. “We’re gonna find out, though. I know we will.”

“She was the best girl. She was so good,” he sobs as he brings his face to lay on top of Matilda’s. I follow his movement and lay over them both. I hold them as he continues to cry. I know that while he won’t stop anytime soon, he won’t be violent as long as I’m here.

“Where he be? What’s in lord tundering is going on? Hank! Love, where you are?”

I hear my mother shout. The brothers all move, and when I look up, I see her standing at the pen entrance, her hand covering her mouth. She rushes to my father and wraps herself around his back. We sandwich him in the middle of us as best we can while he holds a giant hog, and we all sob.

My father had his light stolen from him the day Bennett died. He became a whole different person. My mom and I tried, but you can only do so much for a person who has sunk so low. Matilda was that extra little push my dad needed to regain the light he lost. All of his piggies were.

I pull back and look at my mother. When she realizes I’m staring at her, I mouth I’ll be back. She nods, and I get up. I wish I could say my dad noticed me leave, but I honestly don’t think he did. I walk right up to Cowboy, Storm, and Judge. John is coming up toward us, but I put my hand up. When I look back at my father’s President, I make sure to look him in the eyes.

“I don’t know what you plan on doing, but this is what you are gonna do.” They all raise their brows in shock, but I don’t care. “You’re gonna find the son of a bitch who did this, and you’re going to kill them. I want no mercy for the piece of shit who has caused my father so much pain. And I promise you, if you don’t kill them, I will.”

Cowboy is the only one that speaks, “I promise you, whoever did this, they won’t get away with it.”

“Good.” I turn to John, “I won’t be home tonight. He needs me, but I need you. Please come with me?”

“Anything you need, Birdie. Always,” he promises me.

Grabbing my hand, we make our way back to my dad. We’ll be here until he tells us he’s ready. No matter how long it takes. John stays with us. He holds my dad, and when my dad snaps at him and attempts to hit him, John wraps his body around my dad and tells him it’ll be okay and that he’ll find who did this and make them pay. At one point, he whispers something to my father that immediately calms him down. It’s at this moment I come to a conclusion about John. Without a shadow of a doubt, I’m in love with him.

Fourteen

Cougar

“I can stay and help. It’s no problem. He’s in a mood.” AJ tells me. I can see the worry on her face, but I think this will be good for Butcher…and me, I hope. While I know AJ can calm Butcher down better than I can, I think Butcher needs some time to let himself feel and not worry about his wife or his daughter. I can help him do that by being here and taking care of the shop while he does whatever it is he needs.

I give AJ a quick kiss, then hug her and her mom before I push them in the direction I need them to go.

“I know you can, Birdie, but I’ll be okay. Your dad will be fine. You ladies have fun. I’ll hold down the fort and make sure everything goes smoothly here.” I tell AJ and her mother as I shuffle them out the shop’s front door and watch them walk to their car.

It hasn’t been long since we all walked out of church to find Butcher’s piggies slaughtered. Since then, everyone has been down. No one more so than Butcher. I was worried that morale would stay down for a while, but that’s changed recently, and I think we could all use the happiness coming our way.

AJ and her mom have plans with the other Ol’ Ladies to put the finishing touches on the reception and adoption party for Rambo and his family. Rambo didn’t want to celebrate his marriage to Audrina until Malika’s adoption went through. We got the news the other day, which means the party is this weekend. It’s nothing Mama El and the team can’t handle.

So, while they take care of the party, I promised Birdie and Abilene I would run the front of the shop for them. They need to keep the doors open, and Butcher is in no frame of mind to deal with the public. A lot of people fear him. He’s a very intimidating man before you get to know him. Hell, even after you get to know him. But since the day his pigs were murdered, he’s been something else. His demeanor has changed drastically. AJ’s been so worried about him lately. He barely speaks in words, choosing to grunt for most responses.

I wave to the women as they drive away. Once they’re out of my sight, I turn back into the shop to start the opening duties Abilene outlined for me. First things first. I need to head to the back fridge to get the trays of meat for the front cooler display.

Thwack.

Thwack.

Thwack.

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