Page 58 of Cougar

“What are you reading?”

She glances up and smiles at me. “Oh, good, you’re awake. It’s a hockey romance by Michele Lee.”

“Hockey? You don’t strike me as a hockey romance reader.”

“Oh, Ducky. If people are screwing in it, I’ll read it.” she winks at me, “But, there is a lot more that happens in this story too. It’s about the coach and a woman who moved to town to start over. I like it.”

“Sounds sweet.”

“It has its moments. But listen, now that you’re awake, I think it’s time I tell your dad that you’re here.”

“You haven’t told him yet?”

She shakes her head. “No. You needed your rest. We both know he wouldn’t allow that to happen. Your dad loves you, but sometimes he gets a little….”

“Yeah,” I softly chuckle, “I get it. Well, thank you for letting me nap. I needed it. But yeah, please let Dad—”

I’m cut off when the door to my room flies open, and in walks the man himself. I can tell he’s furious. He gives a quick glance to my mom, probably to make sure she’s actually here with me, and then his eyes are back on me. I can tell he’s studying me from head to toe to make sure I’m okay. His eyes then travel to the monitors that tell him his grandson is also okay.

“Daddy.”

He rushes to my bed and places himself down next to me, pulling me into his arms. I can hear his soft sobs as he holds me tightly.

“Daddy, I’m okay. We’re both okay.”

“But you might not have been. I should have known you were here when you got here. Not because your baby daddy couldn’t be bothered to be sitting here with you.”

Oh. Oh no.

“What did you do?”

“Put him in his fucking place. That’s what I did.”

“Daddy,” I shake my head as I grab his hand. “I told him to leave. He told me what happened with Judge and Storm, and I told him to go. The baby and I, we’re okay. I’m not gonna be here much longer, so I told him he should be with his brothers. Mom came in as he left.”

“Still. He should be here. This is his family.” Dad’s voice is gruff. I can tell he’s holding back his emotions.

“He is here. He’s just currently down with the rest of his family. He went to you guys.” I reach out and touch my dad’s face. He leans into my hand and closes his eyes. “How bad did you mess up his face?” I ask, and his eyes pop open in surprise.

“What makes you think—” he starts to deny it when Mama starts laughing at him. She closes the book she’s been pretending to read these last few moments.

“Hank, don’t lie. It’ll make you impotent,” she chokes out.

Dad shoots up and looks from her to me—trying to find the words that won’t scar me. “I’m pregnant, Dad. I know what limp dick means. Better not lie to us.” I try so hard to suppress my smile.

“I may have gotten two shots in, but I didn’t get to stay and see the fallout,” he mumbles. “He may have fallen into Elvira.” Dad eyes mom.

“You made a right mess here today, didn’t ya, Hank? A woman who is already on the brink? You hadta get you’self all in a tiz and knock some skulls together like the ape of a man you tend ta be.” Mom pops up from her chair, gathering her things. “You right might have pushed her arse over da edge, Hank James, and if you did, mark these words,” she approaches Dad, and even though she is a tad shorter than him, her presence makes him shrink to her level. “I won’t stop her from coming after you.” She ends that sentence with a kiss on the cheek. “Since we know that Elvira has been manhandled by the wee one after the oaf took him out. I better get down there before she takes her frustrations out on a poor nurse just trying to do her job. She’s been known to take out a few people to get the answers she wants.”

With that, Mom breezes out of the room—leaving Dad and I slack-jawed, while watching the door she exited from.

“You don’t think El is going to take out a nurse to get answers, do you?” I ask, not looking at Dad.

“I’ve seen her do more than that, so I wouldn’t put it past her if it’s for Judge.” His voice is a bit louder, so I know he is looking at me. “It’s what you do for the people you love. You move heaven and earth for them.”

“Dad,” I sigh. There are things he and I need to talk about. Life has thrown us some fucked up curve balls over the years. Hell, we’re in the middle of one right now. I love my dad, I really do, but it’s no secret to anyone he can be a difficult man to love.

I’ve grown with him. His changes changed me. My mother and I both molded ourselves around him after my brother died. But sometimes, I feel like Bennett’s death is his main focus. His main reason for being him. And the truth is, I feel left out.

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