Page 62 of Cougar

“How do we know Mallard wasn’t the one who took her and ran Aletta off the road?” Gears asks, “Seems like he has the motive.”

I thought the same thing, but there was something about the way he was acting, which told me he didn’t. Of course, I can’t be sure, but my gut says he wasn’t there. He only did what he told me he did. I don’t say this, though. I say, “We don’t. There’s no way to know until we talk to him. We can’t do that yet.”

“Until we can do something about it, we need to change tactics. Gears, what did the feds do? Did they take anything? Given the fact that you’re standing here and none of us have been arrested yet, they didn’t find Bonnie?” Cowboy asks, officially changing the subject.

“No. They took the blood evidence they needed and Elvira’s clothes. There wasn’t a whole lot they could go on. I tried to stay close and listen, but those assholes were clever with where and how loud they spoke. I did hear one of them ask about an Agent Roussel. Something about not being able to get in contact with him. But it wasn’t much. They didn’t stay long. As soon as the last vehicle was off the property, I came here. Sorry, Prez. I know it’s not very helpful.”

Prez acknowledges what Gears said but not much else. There isn’t anything we can do. We’ve been sitting here in hell, waiting to hear about our brothers. I look back at Elvira, and the queen of this MC is a shell of herself. No one on this earth loves Judge and Storm more than she does. I’m not sure how she’s going to handle the outcome of this. She’s had to deal with a lot more than any of us have regarding this whole mess.

Cowboy dismisses us from our impromptu church, and I walk over to Elvira with him. We sit on either side of her, and each grab a hand.

“Mom.”

“I can’t lose them, JJ. I can’t. They both are why my heart beats. I know I’m married to your dad, and he’s the love of my life, but Theo is too, in a completely different way. It’s hard to explain. The three of us, we have something special. It’s a friendship that grew from the bond they shared before me. They expanded it to included me. It’s been us since they came into my life. I can’t lose them. I can’t.”

“I know, Mom, I know,” Cowboy says as he pulls her head and lays it on his shoulder.

I want to say something, anything, to make this better for her, but I can’t. What is there to say? Nothing is going to make this better. It’s already a miracle they weren’t pronounced dead at the scene or en route.

“El, I wish I could—”

My words are cut off by the sound of the lock disengaging from the doors. A man in scrubs comes out. When he sees our group, he makes his way to us. We all stand. Elvira takes a couple of steps toward him but stops herself.

“Are you the family for Ken Kelly and Theo Lovitt?”

“Yes. I’m Ken’s wife. Theo is my brother. Are they okay? Please. Please tell me they’re okay.” Elvira says with tears already streaming down her face.

Even though the answer is instant, I swear I experienced slow motion for the first time in my life before I heard the words.

“I’m sorry.”

Twenty Seven

Nameless

What happened? My head is killing me. My shoulder has never hurt so bad before. I groan as beeping brings me out of my fog. I slowly open my eyes. The light hurts, forcing me to close them tightly in response. I turn my head to the right and hear the weird vibration in my head caused by my eyes being closed too tight. Again, even slower, I attempt to open my eyes. I have to blink a few times as my vision is very blurry. It’s so bad that all I see are the outlines of objects of the room I’m in. I blink a few times, trying to clear my sight. It doesn’t take long for me to be able to see I’m in a hospital room. Well, that explains the pain I’m in.

Turning my head to the right, I see the open window. The sun streaming into the room is the culprit behind the room being too bright. I want to close the blinds, but the thought of getting up sounds so daunting. Who would leave the blinds open anyway? I make a note to ask the nurse to close them the next time they come in the room. Turning to the left, I startle. There’s a woman. She’s beautiful. Her features seem familiar, and the more I stare, the more I start to remember. Which is a good thing considering I can’t remember why I’m here in the first place.

“Hey, it’s okay,” her soft voice confirms my suspicion. Her hand rubs my hair, and I blink away the forming tears.

She smiles at me, and it changes her face. I thought she was beautiful before, but now she’s stunning. I can’t remember why I’m here, and I can’t tell you her name, but I know that I know her.

It’s an odd feeling—looking at someone and knowing you know them, but not how. Her name is somewhere in my head. I close my eyes briefly, searching the files I can access, but I come back empty-handed. There’s nothing. It’s almost as if I found the file I have on her, and everything is listed as Unknown right next to her picture.

She doesn’t come across as an unknown I should fear. Something about her brings my soul peace. When her hand grabs mine, it sings to my heart. It’s almost as if her heart and mine are having their own conversation. They know each other, even if my mind doesn’t.

“I’ve missed you, honey.”

I feel lost. I’m out of the loop regarding who she is, but it’s clear she knows me. She knows my name and who I am to her. I want to ask her, but I also don’t want to admit I don’t know who she is. I stay quiet. I think a little harder, but when a minute of awkward quiet passes, I give up.

I look harder into her eyes, hoping that maybe the answer is there. I swear, as soon as I accept defeat and prepare to ask her, the lightbulb goes off. How could I have forgotten? “Mom?”

She nods as a single tear falls down her cheek. She’s here. How is she here? My heart swells with love, longing, and pain. I’m hit with a ton of bricks with how much I’ve missed her. So much has happened in my life, and she’s missed all of it. Every decade, every achievement, every heartbreak. I want to be mad, but I can’t. I can’t allow myself to get angry with her.

“Yeah. Hi, honey.”

“What…what are you doing here?” I’m perplexed as to how it’s possible. It shouldn’t be possible.

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