Page 81 of Cougar

It brings me back to the day I gave him Matilda.

“So which one did you give him?” Turd asks as he saddles up beside me and slings his arm over my shoulder.

“The one in the purple bow,” I answer giving him a side eye.

“Mine has a purple bow too! But I know mine is the one he is playing with now because his bow is covered in glitter. Is that one yours?” He points to the one sitting to the side of my dad. Dad is playing with the others near him, but his other arm is wrapped around Matilda Jr. I’m sure he sees the For Dad card attached to her bow.

One of the piglets looks so unsure about the man who is trying to talk to and play with them. Dad is really trying to build that bond with these guys that he had with his first set. He loved those pigs so much. John wasn’t supposed to tell me, but it turned out to be their prospect that had killed them. They don’t know why. They think he didn’t like the animals. I have no clue, but I hope he got what was coming to him for doing what he did. I couldn’t get anymore information out of him. John was so mad at himself for slipping, he told me to forget about it and walked out.

One day I’ll get the information I want. I know my mom does it with Dad. I need her to teach me her wicked ways.

Shaking my head, I turn away from my dad and look at his brothers. “You guys all suck. You totally stole my thunder.” They all start to laugh when they see me smile. I wanted to make them think I was at least a little pissed off, but I can’t do it. “Thanks, guys.”

Squeals of delight turn my focus back to my dad and the piglets. I feel absolutely complete. With one last smile, I turn back to the party, “He’s not coming out of there. I’m hungry and I have yet to have a cupcake.”

We all make our way back to the house when my mom comes up to me, “You’re something else, you know that Ducky?”

I smile and put my head on her shoulder. The piglets will never replace the ones he lost, but they’ve brought his smile back, and that’s all I wanted.

Thirty Four

Aletta

*Three weeks later*

Time is healing most of the wounds inflicted, but not all of them. Ken still has a hard time when he’s alone. Elvira says he’s working on it, and she can see the changes in him, but she’s still worried. He’s started talking to Theo at night and writing in a journal. It’s made a huge impact on his day-to-day life.

The one who hasn’t healed is his daughter. Manda hasn’t been able to process his death well. Teddy doesn’t understand why his grandpa isn’t around and continues to ask for him. Which is why we’re all sitting here now around the table. Elvira is holding Teddy, and Manda has just dropped the bomb on us.

“But why?” Elvira asks.

“I can’t take it anymore, El. He’s everywhere I turn, and it hurts too much. I was robbed of everything when he died. I need to get away.” Manda tells her as tears roll down her face.

“But…. Where are you going?”

“I’ve been thinking about it, and I’m going to go to North Carolina. I need my best friend. Roxie is that for me. Plus, I didn’t want to go somewhere where Teddy and I would be alone. At least this way, I’m with my family. I thought about going with Dizz when he left, but that seemed too rushed. I needed to make sure you knew why I wanted to leave. Plus, I wanted to see if it was something I could get past, but I can’t. I see him everywhere. Everything reminds me of what I’m never going to get to have with him.”

Manda wipes her eyes, and I do the same. I’m not her surrogate mother, that’s Elvira, but even this is heartbreaking for me. I can only assume Elvira feels as if she’s slowly losing everyone she loves. I know it hurts when your kid leaves the nest, my mother made sure to tell me every day we spoke when I first moved out. But when I left, it was because it was exactly what I needed at the time. This seems to be the same case for Manda.

“I think this will be good for you,” I tell her. “You know your heart best. I did the same thing when I turned eighteen. I needed to get out and find myself. I think you going to North Carolina will be great for you and Teddy both.”

“What?” Elvira wails out. Teddy turns in her arms and gives her a big hug.

“Momma El, no cry.”

She wraps her arms around him tighter, and after a moment of holding him close, she glares at me. I almost want to take my words back, but a quick glance at Manda tells me I need to stick to my guns.

“El, she’ll be with family. I know we’re her family, but right now, this house means a lot of pain for her. We—you—need to let her go and get away from the hurt. This doesn’t mean she’ll never see you again. It’s simply for her to find herself and move on from losing her father.

“I think it will also be good for Teddy. He’s young enough that soon he’ll stop asking. I’m sure the constant reminder isn’t easy on her.” I look toward Manda, and she nods in agreement.

“This isn’t forever, El, but it’s what I need. My soul needs to get away and heal.”

“I just wish I could help you get through this,” Elvira tells her.

“It probably didn’t help that Natasha just up and left without a word,” Mallory chimes in. She’s been staying here with Elvira since getting out of the hospital. She didn’t feel safe going anywhere else. She had told us all what Storm had told her and the promise he made. She said she chose to believe him and wanted to be here.

She’s been slowly coming out of her shell and is a pistol. She’s also very blunt at the worst of times. For example, now.

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