Page 41 of Wishing Hearts

I sigh wistfully. “I swear, Carl. I’m gonna do so many dirty things to that man.”

Carl sputters, and I thump him on the chest.

“Respectfully,” I clarify, in case my coworker wasn’t sure.

He huffs, shaking his head. “Jesus, Sammy. The things that come outta your mouth sometimes.”

I snort. Harrison said nearly the same thing.

“He’s somethin’ special, Carl. He’s so good and kind and gentle. But also strung tight, y’know? I wanna help him unwind. With the dirty things,” I explain.

Carl groans.

“But beyond that,” I add. “I dunno… I really think there could be somethin’ there.”

Harrison is also scared and cautious, and now I understand why. He has a daughter to think about. An entire life, structured just so before I came into it. I’m essentially a stranger, and I could mess up his already messy existence.

But I don’t want to do that. I don’t want to make things any harder for Harrison than they currently are. I just want to be there. With him. For him, if he’ll let me. True, I barely know the man. But we’re getting there, one step at a time. And each step makes me want more.

Carl pulls into a spot in our parking lot, but he doesn’t move once he shuts off the truck, instead staring out the window.

“Somethin’ wrong?” I ask.

He turns toward me, expression pinched. Serious. “It’s just… You have a tendency to rush into these things. And I don’t wanna see you get hurt.”

I give my friend an understanding smile. Carl and I may goof around a good bit of the time, but he always has my back. I have his, too.

“I appreciate that,” I tell him. “I really do. But you gotta understand. I don’t know how not to try with everythin’ I’ve got.”

He sighs a little. “I know. I know that, Sammy. It’s admirable. It is.”

“But you think it’s foolish, too.”

“Not foolish,” he says quickly. “But you could…I dunno, ease into your relationships a li’l slower, y’know? Feel the person out more before you get too attached.”

He winces a little after he says that, but I don’t mind his honesty. I do get attached. And I have a history of falling faster than my partners do. Maybe Carl’s right, that I should take things slower. Walk instead of run. But…

“If I hold back, I’m not givin’ them my true self. One day, I’ll find that man who loves me for me. And until then, I’m gonna give it my all. They deserve that. I do, too.” I blow out a breath, and Carl watches me patiently. “Doctor Bailey might not be that man,” I concede. “But what if he is? He could be. And I wanna find out.”

Carl nods before squeezing my shoulder. “Yeah, Sammy. I hear you. I just hope this Doctor Bailey treats you right.”

I give Carl a little grin. “Gonna give ’im the talk for me, Carl? A li’l you hurt my boy, and I’m comin’ for ya?”

Carl shakes his head before pushing his door open and getting out of the truck.

“No?” I ask after him. “What about the safe sex spiel? We’re definitely gonna be needin’ condoms. Lots of ’em. Y’know, ’cause of all the dirty things!”

Carl groans, slamming his door shut and walking away. I chuckle as I follow him out of the vehicle.

“Seein’ him tonight?” he asks as we approach the building.

“Mhm. Goin’ over for supper.” After a pause, I add, “He’s got a daughter.”

Carl’s head whips my way fast, eyes wide in surprise. “He does?”

“Yeah,” I say, puffing out a laugh as I think about Winnie. “Her name is Winifred. Ten years old. She’s a tiny spitfire.”

But cautious, like her dad.

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