Page 47 of Big Bad Single Wolf Dad

“Oh no, I absolutely love it,” she replies instantly. “I just didn’t realize you counted bowling among your many talents. The other day, you made it sound like it was more in my skill set than yours.”

“Born to roll, born to bowl,” I shoot back, laughing as I take the shoes and socks the clerk offers us.

“Seriously, I didn’t know this town had an underground bowling alley,” she replies, laughing as well. She picks up the other pair of shoes and we head over to our designated lane. “How do you know about this place?”

“I’ve known about it for a long time,” I answer, setting up our information into the lane’s computer. “But I only really started coming here when I was in college. Whenever school or internships would get to be too much I would take a weekend off, and come up here to clear my head.

“Bowling is a game where you literally can’t do anything except center on what’s right in front of you,” I explain as I line up my shot. “All the elements are there, and there are no outside variables or distractions to keep you from your goal. All you need to do to win is focus and then let go.”

Drawing back, I take three steps forward and release. The ball rolls loudly down the lane, crashing into a few pins as a warm-up. Turning back to the track, I find Sarah looking at me thoughtfully and our eyes lock.

“This is your safe space. You come here to be yourself,” she observes. “Why didn’t you mention this the other day?” Then she frowns a little as if recalling how strained the conversation was between us the last time we were at a bowling alley.

“I come here to be honest with myself, yes,” I reply. “It’s why I wanted to bring you here. Because I want to be honest with you. I wanted you to know that.”

“What did you want to be honest about?” Her question is soft and breathy, almost as if she is afraid to hear the answer.

“I wanted to be honest about how I feel about you,” I respond, taking a deep breath as well. Giving a long exhale, I continue.

“We haven’t talked much about where this is going, and I wanted to clear the air. We just sort of fell into each other's lives, and I didn’t want to put pressure or expectations on you or make you feel like you have an obligation to me.

“You have a whole life of your own, with a family and relationships separate from me, and I get that, I really do. But Sarah, I’ve never wanted a woman the way I want you. Everyday I find myself thinking about you, wanting to be around you, and Mia and Ethan.

“I’m crazy about you, and I want us to be together in a real, committed relationship. I know you still see Eric. I overheard you talking with him the other night, and when I spoke with him, he didn’t deny it. Just like I know you’re free to make your own choices about who you want to let into your life.”

“Greg,” she starts, but I raise a hand to halt her interruption.

“You’re not sure about us. I can tell that much, and there are others who want your attention. I may have overstepped by confronting Eric. I know I have a tendency to come on strong, and that can be intimidating.” At that, I shoot her an apologetic smile, even as she stares wide-eyed at me.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry, I should have been more straightforward with you from the beginning. I want you in our lives, in my life, and I want our two families to become one big happy one. But I also know you have your own life to lead, and I just want you to know that whatever you decide, I will respect your wishes.”

There it is. I’ve laid my cards out on the table. Now all that’s left is to see if we’ll leave here together, or if Sarah will take my heart with her when she goes.

25

SARAH

Somewhere around us, there are people hitting strikes and rolling balls into the gutter. Some are showing off, while others are nursing their losses. There’s clatter and clamor but I don’t see or hear any of it. Not when Greg is looking at me so earnestly and so openly.

I only have eyes for this man.

The reality of that fact hits me square in the chest. We’ve been dancing around each other this entire time, trying to impress, trying to be considerate of one another, because of how we feel. I’ve been so wrapped up in my own fears and insecurities that I haven’t really been paying attention to the inner workings of my heart.

“Sarah?” he prompts quietly, snapping my attention back to him.

“Just give me another moment, I’m still processing,” I reply. He nods and leans against the track, the bowling balls between us forgotten.

What exactly do I want from Greg? He had the courage to be candid with me, so perhaps it’s time to really ask myself that question. This connection we’ve fostered is great, and the bond our kids have formed is wonderful, but neither of those aspects is enough to overcome the hurdles that come with a serious relationship.

But is that true? Greg looks on, waiting patiently for my response. Exactly how many of my concerns are genuine, legitimate worries, and how many are just me letting doubts get the better of me?

Sure, there’s an obvious attraction between us, but attraction is how I wound up as a single mom with two kids in the first place. But maybe that’s part of my problem as well, that I’ve been secretly comparing Greg to my ex, despite them being entirely different.

It’s evident that Greg really does want to make this work. More importantly, I’m starting to really believe that’s what I also want. Things have been so strained between us lately, and that has only been fueling my fears and doubts.

Ever since Hunter left, I’ve lived half a life, so afraid of repeating mistakes and getting my heart broken all over again that I’d almost given up on the idea of love altogether. Which is crazy when I stop to actually think about it because living a life full of love has been a dream of mine for so long. Love is what helped create my family, and it’s what has allowed it to grow.

When I look into Greg’s blue eyes, shining with anxious hope, I see love staring me in the face.

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