Page 14 of Double the Dilemma

“Exactly, and since we’ve been here, you’ve never just up and left with no warning. The closest thing you’ve taken to a vacation was an overnight trip into the city so you could buy that gun you wanted. But you drove all night to get back because you refused to be away from home for too long. So how about you fess up to whatever the problem is.”

“Nothing is the problem,” she lied smoothly. “You and Gabe have Fury and the club, you’re settled here, and I can take some time for myself. That’s all.”

Esme stared at her. “When did we start lying to each other, Karissa?” she finally asked. “I’ve never lied to you, even when I wanted to, and thought it was safer for you. I told you all about my past and my life before. Because I trusted you. And you can’t even give me that now?”

Fuck.Karissa fought not to flinch as guilt battered her. Not just at her words, but also because she had been lying from the start. She had never told Esme the whole truth about what happened to her growing up. About Sena. Esme knew she was part of a secret mercenary team, but that was it. Karissa had always known Sena might come back, and Esme didn’t need that added to her worries at the time. Hell, the cartel and a crazy ex were enough for anyone, let alone that her best friend was being stalked by a psychopath.

“Esme,” she started carefully.

“No,” Esme hissed, temper making her face flush. She put her hands on the desk and leaned forward. “No, you’re not going to lie and tell me that everything is fine and that you’re just taking time to clear your mind. I know you, bitch. I know you better than anyone else, and that means I know when you’re stressed, and when you’re ready to run. And by run, I mean leave town and never come back. You have the same look in your eyes that I did. Like you need to get out. So you need to tell me why. Who are you running from? Razor? Because if he hurt you, I’ll—”

“No,” Karissa quickly interrupted, stopping her tirade. “This has nothing to do with Razor.” It couldn’t be further from it, she thought silently. “I’ve never stayed in one place for so long, and I need to move again. As much as I wish you could come with me, you can’t, and honestly, I don’t want you to.” Esme’s face slackened in hurt.Shit.Karissa rushed on, “Not because I don’t want you with me, but because you finally found your place here. You have a man who loves you and thinks you walk on water, and Gabe is ridiculously happy here. He has some excellent role models that will keep him on the right path. You deserve to be here, with them, and your new babies.”

Esme was silent for a moment. “And you can’t have that here? You can’t be happy here with us?” she finally asked softly, hurt clear in her tone.

“I’m not built for this kind of life,” Karissa said gently, reaching out and taking her hands in hers. Esme’s fingers were stiff, but she didn’t pull away. “You’re my best friend in the whole world, Esme. My sister, if we want to really be honest. And that will never change, but I can’t stay here. I have to go.”

“You’re still not telling me why, Rissa,” Esme pointed out. “If you want to go, I won’t stop you, but I also know you’re keeping something from me. You’re dancing around the reason so you don’t have to tell me, and I want to know why. You owe me that.”

“Esme…”

Esme narrowed her eyes. “Don’tEsmeme. Trust me, Rissa. Trust me because you know that whatever the problem is, I’m going to be here for you. No matter what. I trusted you, and you stood by me, and now it’s my turn.”

Karissa wanted so badly to tell her. To finally admit what was going on, but she couldn’t seem to get the words past her lips. Couldn’t force herself to say them. “I can’t tell you,” she said softly.

Esme’s eyes narrowed even more, until they were almost slits. “Oh, yes you can,” she said, her tone slipping into the one she used when Gabe pissed her off. She rarely used it, so it was very effective. Even Karissa felt her stomach twist at it. Did all Mom’s have that kind of power? “Karissa, tell me. Or I’m going to lock that door and never let you out of here until you do. My man is going to be pissed when I don’t go home for supper, and my son is probably going to bang on the door so he can be the peacemaker, but that’s alright. I don’t need to go home. I have you to worry about, right? You remember doing this same thing to me, right, Rissa? Back when you and I first met each other and you locked me in the storeroom with you one night after work at that dive bar. You wouldn’t take no for an answer then, and I’m not taking it now. I did learn it from the best.”

Karissa would have laughed any other time, because she did remember that. And how pissed Esme was for a while until she finally broke down and told her. All of it had come spilling out, but she wasn’t Esme. She didn’t need to spill her secrets. “Don’t be like this, Esme,” she pleaded. “You and I have been through a lot, yes, but sometimes there are things that I need to handle on my own.”

“Fine, you’ve left me no choice but to start trying to guess whatever the hell is going on, and I’ve learned a few things from Royal and Harlow about wild and crazy theories,” Esme said briskly, pulling away and putting her hands back on her hips. Karissa rolled her eyes. “Are you pregnant?” she demanded.

Karissa jerked in surprise at the question. “No!” she screeched. “Are you kidding me, Esme?”

“What? You and Razor have been bed buddies for months, and we both know that babies aren’t exactly delivered by a stork so it’s a possibility.” She screwed up her nose. “Wait, did he give you something and now you’re trying to run out of town so you can get all cleared up before you come back and cut off his dick?”

Karissa let out a sharp laugh. “No, Jesus, nothing like that. We’re both clean.”

“So you don’t deny you’ve let him fuck you without a condom,” Esme pounced. “So it is possible you could be pregnant.”

“Jesus, no I’m not pregnant,” Karissa yelled at her. “I know you and Fury are all in for a baby, but the rest of us aren’t. I’m on the shot anyway.”

Esme sniffed. “Shots fail, but fine, I’ll take your word for it. But if I find out you’re lying and you went into the city to have an abortion or something without me, I’m never speaking to you again.”

Karissa put her head in her hands for a moment before she lifted her head. “I’m. Not. Pregnant.” she repeated slowly. Enunciating each word.

“Fine, not pregnant, and not dealing with some kind of gross STD. So that leaves the crazier ideas. Did you find out you have a long lost family somewhere and you’re going to meet them? Or maybe they’re some kind of crime family and they’ve found you and they’re pulling you back in. And they’re planning on marrying you off to some rival mobster or gangster to strengthen the family alliance.”

“You read too many of those romance novels that Royal and Harlow love so much,” Karissa drawled.

“Actually, Scarlett gave me that one,” Esme said smugly. “And you should read it, it’s damn good.”

“I’ll add it to my list,” Karissa replied drily.

“Fine, you’re not living out a new fantasy of mine. So that leaves… you have some sort of terminal illness and you’re not telling me because you don’t want to upset me.” Her eyes widened in horror. “Oh my God, are you sick? Are you sick and you’re trying to leave so you’re not some kind of burden or something? Because that’s absolute nonsense and I won’t let you do it. You are not dying alone. I will kill you myself before I let that happen.”

Okay, this is spiraling out of control, Karissa thought as Esme’s eyes got wet and wide with panic. She needed to get this under control.

“I’m not sick,” she snapped at Esme. “God, seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? When did you become so damn crazy? Are you sure you’re not pregnant, because you’re insane with all these ideas.”

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