Page 7 of Double the Dilemma

CHAPTERFOUR

KARISSA

Karissa glared at her best friend, knowing that it wouldn’t do any good to try and stop her while she laughed her ass off. At her. Instead, she scowled and waited her out. Finally, Esme managed to get herself under control and said, “You seriously thought that you were going to just kick him out? Wow, you sure you haven’t hit your head or something?”

“You know, a good friend would be taking my side and agreeing with me,” she pointed out drily.

She decided to come over to Esme’s place today, knowing she was risking the possibility of running into a certain biker, but after last night, she needed to spend some time with her best friend. Thankfully, Razor was nowhere in sight. It also helped that Fury was busy with some sort of club business and Gabe was in school so they had the house to themselves.

Esme snorted, pulling her back to the present. “Good thing we both know that I’m your best friend and I don’t hold back the truth from you, right?” she smirked. “Come on, Karissa, you and I both know that you and Razor can’t keep your hands off each other, and that you fully enjoyed last night, as much as you’re saying you didn’t. Because if you didn’t, you’d have kicked his ass, cut off his cock, and fed it to him.”

Karissa sighed. She was right, and she hated it. “Well, it doesn’t matter now. Last night was the last time. Whatever this thing Razor and I have is over.”

Esme gave her a yeah-right look. “Tell that to someone who believes you. You’re honestly going to sit here and tell me that if he showed up at your apartment again tonight, you wouldn’t end up right back in bed with him?”

“I’m not letting him back in my apartment,” Karissa assured her firmly. “We’re done and I meant it.”

“And you think he’s just going to accept that?” Esme asked incredulously. “Have you met these bikers? Once they set their minds to something, there is nothing that will stop them from getting what they want. And this particular biker is just as stubborn as mine.”

“No one is as stubborn as Fury,” Karissa argued.

Esme snickered. “Okay, you might be right about that. Fine, as stubborn as Rogue then.”

Karissa pursed her lips in thought. “I don’t know, he’s pretty stubborn too. Especially where the girls are concerned.” Rogue recently met a woman with twin teenage girls, and the girls’ favorite activity was to drive the grumpy biker crazy. He also was realizing how big of a job two girls were, especially where boys were involved.

Esme snickered. “They came down to the garage the other day and it was hilarious to watch them badger him about him taking them to the mall while Scarlett was at work. The look on his face had me laughing. He looked like he was facing a firing squad.”

“Wait, wasn’t that the day you said that Rogue gave you the afternoon off work?” Karissa demanded, connecting the dots.

Esme grinned wickedly. “What can I say? I saw an opportunity and I took it.”

Karissa rolled her eyes. “And that has nothing to do with you and your shopping addiction? Good thing Fury makes bank through the club because otherwise he’d be working his ass off at multiple jobs to pay for your habits.”

“And you’re trying to distract me from our discussion,” Esme tossed back knowingly. “So how about you tell me the truth and tell me what’s going on with Razor.” Karissa opened her mouth to refute her, but Esme gave her a hard look and quickly added, “And don’t give me a bullshit excuse of nothing is going on with you. I know you better than anyone, and I’ve pussy-footed around this long enough.”

Karissa looked away from her, staring out the window of Esme’s living room. She didn’t want to tell her anything. Because saying it out loud meant that she was accepting it, and she wasn’t about to do that. Not with this. She had to stick to her guns. Razor was a good guy, she knew that, but he wasn’t the man for her. No man was, and it was foolish to want things you couldn’t have. Not to mention, he wouldn’t leave all this behind for her. Nor would she ask him to.

Though it didn’t matter. Her life was never going to be what he thought, and she was just being practical.

She looked out at the large spread of land the club owned. Everything they could need was right here. They had a bar, warehouses, the garage, homes that some of the members had built, including this one, but it wasn’t her life. Her home. Even if Esme and Razor had stars in their eyes about it and hoped that it would be.

She was also stalling about not telling Esme that she might have to leave. The sense of dread in her gut was growing every minute, and she knew that it was about time for her to hit the road. It would hurt her more than ever this time, leaving Esme and Gabe behind, but she would come back and visit when it was safe; until then, technology would keep them in touch.

Finally, she turned her head and looked at her best friend. “The sex with Razor is great, explosive even, but that’s all it can be. And everyone needs to accept that. Including you.” Esme arched a brow at that. “You and I both know that you’re hoping I’ll give in to Razor and we’ll live here next to you, all happily ever after.”

Esme sighed. “Fine, yes, I was hoping you and Razor would figure shit out and be happy here, and we could live next door to each other and raise our kids together. Is any of that wrong? I just wanted you to be happy.”

“And I’m happy with how my life is now,” she assured her. “I don’t need a man in my life to be happy. And neither do you,” she added before Esme could curse her out. “You never did, but you do have one now and you seem happy. Gabe is happy, and that’s what matters. Fury might be a possessive pain in the ass at times, but we both know that if anything happened to you or Gabe, he would burn the world down to save you. Hell, he already did that. But I don’t need a man, and I can burn down the world on my own without any kind of help. Razor and I had our fun, but fun ends, and as much as other people wish for things to be different, they can’t be.”

“You know, I know what you’re saying is true, but it still seems like a lot of lip service to me,” Esme mused. “You’re making excuses so you don’t have to be vulnerable.”

Karissa bit back her annoyance. Her friend was looking at everything through rose colored glasses. Not everyone wanted a relationship, but to those that were blissfully happy, they couldn’t understand why not. Instead of arguing with her, she said bluntly, “It’s not lip service, Esme. I’m happy with my life as is. Single, and living my life the way I want. I don’t want to hear about how Razor and I are perfect for each other. I need you to support my decision, even if you’re not happy with it. And part of that decision is me limiting my time around the clubhouse.”

“What?” Esme asked in confusion. “You’re not coming here anymore?”

“I will, just not as often. And if I do, it will be to see you, here, but I won’t be going to the clubhouse anymore for parties. The less I’m around, the better the chance Razor will just forget about me and move on.”

Esme gave her an incredulous look. “You must have a head injury,” she scoffed. “You think that man is going to forget about you? He’s a biker, Rissa. Through and through. He might not be as growly and grumpy as most of them, but he’s still as stubborn and possessive. You not being around is only going to piss him off. Hell, he might even drag you here and cuff you to the bed like Fury threatened to do to me.”

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