Page 47 of Finally Found You

Chapter Twenty-Four

Lysander

My gaze, tethered by invisible threads, remains locked on the elevator. My heart clenches painfully in my chest, an unseen fist gripping it tightly as she steps inside.

It’s too fucking hard to see her leave, to witness her slipping away. My Cami.But the cruel reality is that she’s not mine.

She’s never been mine. I never claimed her, never dared to make her mine. Yet, the need to fuse her heart with mine consumed me, burned me from the inside out, and left me yearning for something I couldn’t have.

Camilla Balsamo, with her gentle grace, kind soul, and brilliant mind, managed to carve a space in my soul. Her sweet voice filled the emptiest parts of me, her smile touched me in ways I didn’t know I needed to be touched. And now… Well, now she’s leaving, and I feel powerless because I can’t stop her.

My lungs deflate, the air escaping in a ragged exhale as if hope were slipping through my fingers like grains of sand. As the elevator doors shut and whisk her away, I’m left standing there with a lingering sense of loss. A void that threatens to swallow me whole.

“Why were you kissing her?” Kenzy’s accusatory tone is sharp as a knife. It yanks me back to the present. Her eyes blaze with anger, a sight that twists my insides into a tight knot.

My throat goes dry, the words I want to say sticking like sandpaper. What can I say?

I kissed her because I love her, and I hated that she was hurting.

I kissed her to steal her pain away.

I kissed her because I needed to absorb a little of her sweetness before I could continue dealing with my fucked-up life.

I kissed her because… well, because I’m a weak man.

But I can’t say any of that. All I manage is a weak, “It’s complicated.”

Kenzy’s glare cuts deeper, resentment radiating from her like heat from a fire. “Mom is right. She wants to take you away from me because she never had what I do, a mom and a dad.”

My head shakes almost involuntarily. “Listen, Cami and I met before I found out I was a father.” I nod as if approving of what I’m about to say. “Things between us happened before you came into my life. We’ve—”

“I don’t care. She has a boyfriend and a life. I only have you.” Kenzy’s voice cracks, her words teetering on the edge of a scream. “I will hate her for what she did to me. It’s because of her that you don’t want my mom, isn’t it?”

I stare at her, stunned. Where did she get that idea? “Absolutely not,” I manage to choke out.

“You should beg Mom to come back to us,” Kenzy demands. “We can become a family. I mean, you must have loved her at some point if you had me with her, right?”

Where did she get that fucked-up idea?

A knot forms in my stomach as I watch her grapple with the harsh realities of our lives, trying to piece together a picture-perfect family from the fragments she’s been handed. Camilla was right. We need to get Kenzy into therapy. I’m not equipped to guide her through this emotional minefield. At this pace, I need to search for a counselor myself.

Introducing Kenzy to her mother now seems like a monumental mistake. I should’ve listened to Cami when she said it was a terrible idea. Kenzy’s fantasy is nearly impossible, and how can I make her understand that her mother isn’t the person she needs in her life? I have to protect her from her mother.

“Kenzy, things between your mother and I will never work,” I say gently, trying to choose my words carefully, as if they’re pieces of a delicate puzzle.

“Because of Camilla?”

“No, because I don’t feel anything for her,” I state firmly, hoping my conviction will reassure her. “About Cami… We’re all humans and make mistakes.” I pause, searching for the right words to explain the complexity of emotions and relationships, but it’s impossible.

I don’t even know what mistakes I’m talking about here—the kiss, Cam, Kenzy…

It’s all so very complicated. Kenzy isn’t ready to learn the true nature of her conception—that her mother stole my semen to create her without my knowledge. The truth would potentially shatter her world. I never had a relationship with Elsie, only pleasant hellos when I spent nights with Rita.

Fuck, how do you tell a child something of that magnitude? I just can’t.

And Camilla… she’s not a mistake. She’s the embodiment of everything I never knew I needed. But I can’t dwell on those feelings now. Not when our impulsive kiss threatens to upend the fragile relationship between Kenzy and me.

But I can’t lose Cami. I can’t just accept that truth. Though, how can I repair what’s broken when the pieces are scattered like shattered glass?

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