Page 50 of Finally Found You

Gatsby releases a heavy sigh, the sound echoing through the room like a mournful melody. “This is Tara all over again. You’re sacrificing everything for everyone else. When will you understand that you deserve to be happy, Ly?”

I scoff, but the words remain trapped in my throat, unable to escape.

“You complained about Heath punishing himself for not saving our father, but you…” Gatsby’s gaze drifts away, and his words falter. After taking a deep, steadying breath, he continues, “Well, you’re doing the same. Let me remind you that you deserve happiness. Don’t let the woman you love go because you think you have to sacrifice for your daughter or your family.”

I could argue with him that she’s not someone I love, but it’s futile. My triplets and I have the ability to know what the other is feeling. He knows I’m madly in love with her and broken because I can never be with her.

“What do you want me to do?” I growl, the ache in my chest growing more pronounced. “I lost fifteen years with Kenzy. I have to make up for all her mother took away from me.”

“Your child will head to college in three years, and then what are you going to do? Live a sad, empty life?” he argues, his voice soft yet insistent. “About Mom… Well, you could’ve sent her to jail instead of paying off your girlfriend to keep her mouth shut.”

I cross my arms, the challenge in my eyes a mask for the vulnerability I’m desperate to hide. “Mom ordered his cremation almost immediately. I didn’t have a way to prove it. Plus, when I confronted her, she went into a catatonic state.”

Aslan shakes his head. “I believe you, but I’m still having a hard time accepting that Mother murdered our father.”

“Do you think their marriage was so bad they were trying to kill each other?” Gatsby’s sudden question strikes me like a thunderbolt, leaving me breathless. He shrugs, the weight of his words heavy in the air. “It’s possible. Maybe Dad was about to do the same, and she was—”

“What about Esme?” I interject, desperation lacing my voice as I think of the two-year-old little girl who lost her life in a car accident. “Why did Mother cause the accident that killed our half-sister? And why try to kill Atzi?”

“Why don’t we wait until we speak to our uncles before we start throwing theories?” Aslan suggests, his hand squeezing my shoulder. “You should try to get some sleep. Kenzy is now your sole responsibility. There’s no Camilla to help you with her, or the vineyard.”

The reminder that Cam is gone steals the air from my lungs like a vacuum, leaving me gasping for breath. I wouldn’t mind doing all the work, but not having her around…

How did she become such an important part of me in such a short time? Breathing without her feels like a struggle, and I doubt I’ll ever be able to recover from losing her—not that I ever truly had her. Thinking about not seeing her again sinks me into a pit that is threatening to consume me whole.

I never felt this emptiness before. Will it ever get better?

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Camilla

Jason and Eileen Spearman are warm and kind. All the Spearmans I’ve met so far carry the same sweetness. It’s an innate goodness that seems to flow through their veins. Their sons are sweet too, but are also whirlwinds of energy. It’s no wonder they live in the foothills.

Their home sits on several acres of land where the children can climb, run, and do endless explorations. As I watch them, I’m exhausted. I have no idea how their parents can keep up with them.

My conversation with Jason and Eileen is limited to one subject. They want to know all about the niece they haven’t met yet. I’m grateful that they refrain from mentioning Lysander and my meltdown. I spend time telling them about Kenzy and how amazing she is. I share some of the pictures I have on my phone and even text a few of them.

After breakfast, Jason drives me to Nonna’s house. He helps me program the lock with my fingerprint and unique code. He adds the app to my phone and explains how to unlock it and lock it with just a touch of my phone. But that’s not the only upgrade. The doorbell is new. It has a camera attached, so I can see who is by the door.

This is a significant upgrade that’ll help when I put the house on the market. I should start the process soon. I have too many expenses, and I can’t afford to pay the mortgage on this house. I’m unsure what I’ll do with the money I make from the sale. After working with Lysander, I’m aware of his worth. Kenzy won’t need the money. The couple of thousand I make from the sale can go to a charity.

Once Jason is gone, I take a long shower before dialing JJ to share everything that transpired.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” she says.

“But all this has made me realize you were right,”I confess in barely more than a whisper, the crushing weight of self-doubt threatening to snuff out the last flicker of hope. “I’m shitty at picking who I fall in love with.”

“Were you ever in love with Ronan?” she inquires, her tone gentle but probing.

“Yeah, we were together for two years,” I remind her, the memories of our time together flickering like faded photographs. As I replay the scenes, I come to a painful realization: Not once did I feel for Ronan what I feel for Lysander.

“Sure, but you were never in love with him. It was a roommates-with-benefits relationship. You just didn’t want to accept it,” she insists.

“That’s not—”

“Neither of you had that unforgettable love for each other,” she interrupts, cutting through my denial. “All your relationships are superficial. This is the first time you sound broken after ending a relationship with a guy.”

“We weren’t together,” I remind her, straining to hold back the tears threatening to fall. I have to stop them before I have another meltdown.

---