Page 63 of Spark

“Let’s move on then,” Sid interrupted, obviously now trying to distract me. “Why don’t you tell me what else in on your mind, Jaden?”

I flat out laughed. “I can’t if the Wonder Twins back there won’t stop interrupting me. This is fucking pointless, anyway. I’m sure I’m already in trouble as it is, and I don’t feel like contributing to my own demise any more than I already have, so I think I’ll just cut this session a little short. What do you say?” I said, standing up, but Owen took hold of my shoulder and pushed me back down to sitting.

“Come on, Jaden. You’ve been so cooperative throughout everything else. Why is now any different?” Sid asked.

“Because this is bullshit. You’re just going to try to get into my head, and it’s not happening. I’m not going to allow you to attempt to breach my mental walls to give Darren another advantage over me. You’ve already confirmed what I wanted to know, and I have no further need to cooperate, so just let me suffer my life in peace now.”

“Jaden, I just want to know what can be done to make things less miserable for you.”

I huffed, anger beginning to spread through my veins like wildfire. “Any suggestions I make are strictly against the rules. Why torture myself with the idea of freedom when I know I’ll be denied every time?”

“What do you want, Jaden? Just start with something small.”

I exhaled sharply. “Fine. I want to be able to go outside when I want and wherever I want WITHOUT Rocky and Bullwinkle constantly up my ass. I want to be able to go beyond the trees, where I can find one moment of peace when I don’t want to fucking kill everyone around me.”

“That seems reasonable,” Sid said with a nod.

“No, it’s not, Sid, because I can’t be trusted. And I’ve earned that mistrust.”

“Everyone has to be given opportunities to earn it back.”

“Good luck explaining that to Darren.”

“Darren’s a reasonable man, Jaden. Give him time.”

I turned back to Sid with more menace than I had control of. “Reasonable? Are you serious? Reasonable!? Oh, my fucking God! This is why this is bullshit! You call threatening to murder my entire family if I don’t comply with his rules reasonable?” I nearly shouted, fresh anger seething through my voice.

“Well, n-now, let’s be fair here,” Sid stuttered, now seeming to backtrack.

“Fair? Are you fucking kidding me! Do you even know what that word means?” I shouted, rising to my feet and looming over him.

“Calm down, Jaden,” Sid practically pleaded.

“Miss Jaden, please cooperate,” Clive demanded.

I almost turned and knocked him out myself.

“Calm down? You’re the one who wanted to get inside my head and try to tell me that Darren is a reasonable man when you and I both know that’s a fucking lie. See? This is why these little bullshit therapy sessions won’t work on me, Sid. Because all you’re going to try to do is attempt to rationalize my situation from the wrong perspective. The only thing you’re focused on is getting me to accept my status as Darren’s slave for the rest of my life and somehow be happy with that.”

“Jaden, you can be happy. We can make this work,” Sid said softly.

In a fit of rage, I grabbed the edge of the coffee table and ripped it out of my way, spilling tea and shattering the contents of the table to the floor. Terror filled Sid’s eyes now that there was nothing blocking him from me.

“Just like it worked for Darren’s mother?” I snarled.

I could feel Clive and Owen rounding either side of the couch, most likely to put me under. I wasn’t having any of that. While they were at each end of the long couch, I turned, hopped over the back and tore the doors of the office open to bolt down the hallway. I needed to get the fuck away from all of them. But as I ran, the doors to Darren’s office abruptly opened, and Darren rushed out to block my escape, anger and concern washed over his face. Too pissed off to deal or slow down, I danced around him quickly, ducking under his arm as he reached for me.

“I knew it!” I shouted at him as I turned back to run for the door that led outside. I knew he’d been watching!

“Jaden!” I heard him angrily call after me, but I was already at the door.

“For once, Darren, just leave me the fuck alone!” I shouted back, basically running for my fucking life now. If he came after me, it was game over. But as I ran, I didn’t hear his footsteps coming after me, so he must have let me go. He was actually letting me break his own rules for once. Maybe he knew that I needed a moment alone just as much as I did.

Pushing my legs harder, I raced into the trees, angry tears threatening to take over as I jumped over the dead branches scattered over the trail. Once I felt I was deep enough, I slowed my run down to a brisk walk, my head constantly turning back to make sure I wasn’t being followed. After a while, I felt my heartbeat finally calm down knowing I was far away from the house and deep enough for the trees to shelter me, I hoped. Eventually, my walk slowed, and I started to focus on all the trees around me, the birds flying around and singing, and the warm rays of the sun shining through the green leaves. It wasn’t as warm as usual, but it was still a nice day out.

A few minutes later, I came across a clearing of soft grass, and I decided to take the opportunity to sit down and clear my head for a while. Kneeling down on the grass, I found a comfortable position, bowed my head, and took a deep breath, releasing through my nose until I felt relaxed and focused.

I’d broken so many rules back there, and I knew I was in for it when I returned. I’d have to apologize; maybe Darren would lessen my punishment if I admitted I was in the wrong. I knew he’d been listening the entire time; I knew he couldn’t resist. I probably shouldn’t have brought something up as personal as his mother, but if she couldn’t survive this life, I wondered how long I could.

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