Page 65 of Spark

“Lift your dress,” I drawled into her ear.

On a deep breath, Jaden reached back for her skirting and slowly lifted the fabric to her hips, giving me access to everything I wanted. Jaden kept her eyes low as I gently reached into her panties, and much to my satisfaction, I found her wetter than the fucking ocean.

I groaned with desire. “Oh, good girl,” I whispered unable to hide the lust and approval in my voice as I rubbed her wetness slowly back and forth over her clit. Jaden released a sharp breath, her teeth biting her lip as she tried to fight against the pleasure. Her face began to flush, her breathing uneven as I brought her closer and closer to the edge. She trembled at my touch as I spread her wider, teasing her even more than I already was. Her knuckles were turning white from holding the skirt up, and I had a feeling she was going to bite right through her lip if I didn’t stop soon.

Leaning down, I kissed her mouth, forcing her head to tilt up and swallowing the moan she released as I finally penetrated her hot core. Even around my finger, she was still so tight. Much to Jaden’s muffled whimper of disappointment, I removed my hand and licked my fingers clean of her delicious arousal as I gazed down at her, beyond ready to finish what I started.

“Upstairs,” I ordered, jerking my head in the direction of the stairs. “Now.”

Jaden dropped her dress and immediately obeyed my order.

“Dismissed,” I said to her bodyguards and followed her. Jaden wouldn’t need them for the rest of the day.

For the remainder of the night, I did something I thought I would never do. I didn’t just fuck Jaden; I did what I might have actually considered making love. For once, I was gentle with her body, kissing, caressing, worshiping every inch of her until she was so lost in her own pleasure that she couldn’t even remember all the horrible things I’d put her through in the last six months. Even I couldn’t remember why I’d been so furious with her earlier; I was so lost in her perfect body. She didn’t just respond favorably to the attention I was giving her, she’d reciprocated, kissing me back, and actually pulled me to her rather than push me away.

I gave her everything she wanted and more, for once, allowing her to forget everything—who she was and what she was—and just drowning her in a night of passion and lust. I’d even fed her myself; feeding her forkfuls of the dinner she’d missed earlier until she pleaded with me that she was full. I, of course, insisted on one last bite, which she complied with. And when it was well beyond into the night, our bodies both spent and satisfied, Jaden curled up in her favorite little nook against my shoulder and side and closed her eyes for the night, releasing a sleepy sigh as she finally drifted off to sleep. For once, it wasn’t about asserting my dominance to ensure she knew her place. It was just about pleasing her, and that made me feel oddly… invigorated.

It gave me hope that she could become more than just complacent; she had the potential to become happy. But I’d have to give her that happiness.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t agree with Jaden’s little test over me. I was bored with her compliance. I enjoyed her resistance too much to beat it out of her completely. All I really wanted from her was to fear and obey me when I needed her to, fight me when I wanted her to, and love me with the same fierceness I shared for her. Would I admit that to her now? No— wanted her to gain a better understanding of what it meant to be obedient, to be mine. No more playing games.

She was lying if she thought she didn’t miss the fight either. She could deny it all she wanted, but her fear of me turned her on… because she knew what I would do to her, and today only reaffirmed that. She wanted the push just as much as I wanted to give it. I had a feeling she’d soon create it herself just so I had a reason to punish her. Whether it was done unconsciously or deliberately, she’d pull something that would warrant a fight, like today.

The therapy session had been a test to see how close she was to acting out, how deep into her submission she thought she really was, and what she really wanted from me besides her goddamn freedom.

The hardest thing to break her of was the desire to escape. She still saw her life with me as only temporary; that she would one day be free of me and this would all be over. Her determination and will to beat me was much stronger than I gave her credit for. I needed to give her a better reason to stay, to actually want to stay. Threatening her family wasn’t enough, granting them mercy wasn’t enough, and I’d already given her plenty of reasons to hate me. I needed to find a way to reverse that heated passion into something else and give her a reason to want me, to love me.

Stockholm syndrome was bullshit. Since when could anyone tell you who you could and couldn’t love? Just because people put a label on falling for your kidnapper didn’t mean it had to be a bad thing. Stockholm syndrome was just a survival tactic for the mind, adapting to the situation by lessening the threat and identifying with the captor. Yes, it occurred through trauma, but forming a bond with Jaden during that delicate phase would ensure her loyalty to me. I didn’t give a shit that Stockholm syndrome carried a negative connotation. That didn’t make it any less real. And I’d make damn sure it was as real as it could fucking get.

My fingertips drew lazy circles around Jaden’s shoulder blade as my mind drifted back to the last thing she’d said before she bolted from her therapy session.

Just like it worked out for Darren’s mother?

I’d revealed too much. She’d use that information as a shovel to dig for more. She’d want the full story about the death of my mother and what it cost my father, what it cost me. She’d have to earn her right to that privilege, but still, it bothered me that she worried. She likely had a misguided opinion about my mother, and I’d have to fix that. I wouldn’t allow her to form a biased opinion on something she knew nothing about, something she would probably never understand. But then again, maybe if I told her what happened, she might have a better understanding of why I kept her under lock and key so tight. Either that or she’d never want to leave the safety of the estate again.

24

Change

* * *

Something had changed in Darren. I didn’t know what caused it, but I suddenly gained a little more freedom. I could now walk in the woods, and I could do it without the watch of my guards. I was only allowed an hour every day, and if I were a second late from emerging from the trees, it would be taken away. I was so grateful for his “gift” to me that I’d thanked him myself without prompt the entire morning. He seemed to appreciate the rewards of his generosity as well while I found it odd that I could reward him so easily for one good deed after six months of bullshit. But it was my method of survival. If I showed him how happy I was when he treated me well, then I hoped he would favor the response and do it more often. If he could condition me, then I would do the same with him.

I did find it odd that he never brought up the conversation I’d had with Sid—the one I knew he’d been listening in on. Maybe he didn’t want to admit that I was right. That he didn’t want me obedient all the time, and that he wanted me to fight him. That he missed it. But he never budged, not even at the idea of his mother, and what I obviously thought of her and how she handled her situation with his father.

I had to wonder if it wasn’t smarter that she had persuaded Darren’s father to purchase her rather than someone she knew nothing about, someone who might take pleasure in simply killing her instead of someone who took pleasure in simply having her. Had Darren’s father loved her? Had he cared about her? I hadn’t even thought to ask of his demise. Had he been killed, too? Does anyone die of old age in this life?

I wanted to understand more of the world Darren lived in and the rules that governed it. But I didn’t know how much information he would share with me. He still liked to keep me in the dark with just about everything. I think he liked me blissfully ignorant of the darkness he dealt with every day, but at times, it was hard not to see it reflected in him. I’d notice on certain days he’d come home with blood on his shirt, smelling like gunpowder and completely bury himself deep inside me like it was his fucking sanctuary. And afterward, he’d shower all the death off the both of us, carry my exhausted ass to bed, and tuck me into his side for the rest of the night.

I still hated the man with every fiber of my being, but when the rare moments came that he was gentle and almost loving, I couldn’t stop myself from diving headfirst into the comfort he provided me. He was always so stern, intense and brooding, yet somehow, he was still capable of leaving it all at the bedroom door and showing me a softer side that existed only for me. Of course, that was only when he felt like it and if I deserved it.

Before he’d left for the day, he gave me one of his Rolexes so I would know when my hour was up in the woods. The damn thing was so big; it fit around my fucking forearm, not to mention it felt like a damn weight strapped to my arm. I tried to reason with him that I would likely lose it, but he warned me of the consequences if that happened. He promised to replace it with my own at dinner.

That day, I’d spent most of my time outside, jogging in the water and walking back waist deep as I had with Holly. Every moment I spent training, I couldn’t help but think of her and remember how pissed off I still was at her death. It shouldn’t have happened. I should have done better at keeping her safe from Darren’s suspicions. She might have annoyed the hell out of me, but she got me back on my feet, and she didn’t deserve to die.

When I decided to venture out into the trees, I made sure Darren’s stupid watch was wedged tightly against the muscle of my forearm before I left Clive and Owen on the patio. It was 12:30 p.m., so I had to be back by 1:30 p.m.

I jogged through the trees, observing every single thing I could of the landscaping. I passed the hammock and small stream Darren had brought me to so long ago, the memory of him pushing for info about my dad suddenly pissing me off as I strolled past. Eventually, I finally came to the clearing and found a nice shady spot where I could sit. Closing my eyes, I quieted my mind and meditated for a while. It was hard to meditate in that house when so much darkness and cruelty surrounded me. I was glad Darren was giving me a reprieve from it all.

---