Page 116 of Grown-Up Second Chance

“Too bad. We might help her with whatever is bothering her,” Liz said.

“She never was good at taking advice.”

“But she’s older and wiser now.”

“She’s right here,” I pointed out. “And I wouldn’t be dissing me about secrets. It seems to me the two of you have some things you are keeping to yourselves.”

“I’m an open book,” Kathleen protested.

Liz glanced at her, a frown on her face.

“What? We’ve never seen your paintings,” she pointed out to Liz.

“I don’t want you to,” Liz said, her voice tense.

“Oh, for god’s sake,” I said. “Go back to picking on me. I don’t want you two squabbling.”

My sisters stared at me.

“Well, I don’t. Besides, you’re right. I need to make a decision, and I’m failing at deciding anything at all.” I retrieved the envelope and my pros and cons list from the desk and placed them on the table.

“What’s that?” Liz asked, pointing to the list.

I told her.

“A list to decide whether or not you like a man?” Kathleen asked. “Is that how they do it in California?”

“No,” I said. “I told you. I don’t know how to make the right choice. The last time I did, I wound up with Larry.”

“She’s right,” Liz said. “She needs serious help.”

“Let me look at that.” Kathleen grabbed the list and studied it. “That’s it? You’re right. It’s pitiful.”

“You got a better idea?”

“There’s always daisies. You know … he loves me, he loves me not. It makes about as much sense as this.” Kathleen tossed the list back down on the table.

“Of course she loves him,” Liz said.

“That was never in doubt,” Kathleen said.

“I do?” I’d never wanted to put a label on my feelings for Joe.

“Yes!” they both said.

“I can’t believe she doesn’t know,” Liz said.

“Me either.”

My sisters continued to discuss my relationship with Joe while I sat there and turned the idea over and over in my brain.

“What did the letter say?”

“He wants me to come visit,” I said. “But I can’t do that and leave you two alone with the trailer. This is supposed to be our trip. No men involved.”

“Honey, at our stage of life, if a man comes knocking, and we’re interested, I say go for it,” Kathleen said. “I’m certainly going to do it.”

“You just buried your husband!” I exclaimed.

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