Page 25 of Grown-Up Second Chance

Joe nodded, but seemed to be expecting something more.

“I quit going to church when we couldn’t get pregnant. I tried, but I just couldn’t.” I hardened my heart and my tone. If Joe had turned into some religious nut, we weren’t going anywhere together. God hadn’t delivered, and I’d never forgiven Him.

“I get it,” he said softly. “More tea?”

My glass was empty, but I shook my head. “I’ve got to get back. There are … um … things to do before dinner.”

I stood, and he rose with me.

“I meant what I said about going into Yellowstone together. Maybe we could plan something for next week?”

“I’ll see about it,” I said. That would give me time to come up with excuses as to why it should never happen.

“Maybe we could get up early one morning and go to the Lamar Valley. Or at dusk. They say if you get there at the right time, you can see wolves.”

That stopped me. I shouldn’t encourage him.

But wolves. To see one of those elusive creatures …

“I’ll let you know,” I said and hurried to our RV, like a deer running from the pack.

~ ~ ~

I huddled inside the trailer, making up busywork on my computer, until Kathleen and Liz returned. Both were bubbling with enthusiasm. Kathleen had met a rancher from the eastern part of Montana at the laundromat, and Liz had had a successful day painting, although she wouldn’t show us her work.

Liz had brought fixings for dinner and insisted that we help her chop up the vegetables she needed for a stir fry.

“You get the red peppers,” she said.

“I hate peppers,” I replied. “Those little seeds get all over the place.”

“You could do the carrots.” She held out a tapered orange root.

“Nope.” Liz had exacting demands from carrots in a stir fry.

“Crybaby,” Kathleen said, pulling the vegetables from Liz’s hands. “How about you pour the wine and let’s get this party started.”

“What are we celebrating?” I asked.

“Don’t need a reason to celebrate anything except being alive at our age,” Kathleen said. “We’re healthy and on a grand adventure. It doesn’t get better than that.”

“I thought marriage was the great adventure,” I said. “At least that’s what Mama always said.”

“That’s because she was totally in love with Daddy,” Liz said. “And why not? He treated her like a princess when he could. Most men aren’t like that.” She turned back to the counter.

“But you and Michael were happy,” I said to Kathleen.

“Yes. But …” A shadow crossed Kathleen’s face so quickly I almost missed it.

“But what?” I asked.

“Nothing to discuss. He’s gone. No more romance for me. Just the open road!” She concentrated on the carrots.

Why did I feel like there were too many secrets lurking in this RV? There were things about my life I’d kept from my sisters. They knew Larry and I couldn’t have children, but not his machinations to prevent it.

They didn’t know I’d been robbed of my chance to be a mother, something I’d always taken for granted.

“What about you, Liz?” I asked. “You’ve never married. I’m not sure you ever got serious about anyone. You haven’t ever said.”

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