Page 43 of Grown-Up Second Chance

Larry started making comments about my looks after we found out I couldn’t have children, and I internalized them. The scale determined my mood for the day. The expression of my doctor at my annual physical, with his not-so-gentle suggestions that I eat less and work out more destroyed what little positive body image I had left.

And I started making jokes. It wasn’t over until the fat lady sings … what do you expect from a woman who can’t see her own ankles?

I sighed and put my clothes on.

“Other people have to get in there.” Kathleen pounded on the door.

“All yours.” I pushed the pocket door out of the way.

“Why are you so dressed up?”

“I’m going to church.”

“Since when did you become an un-lapsed Catholic?”

“Joe asked me.”

“Wow,” Kathleen said. “A church date. It must be serious.”

“Ha. He asked, and I figured why not.” I gestured for her to get out of the way.

She moved, and I walked past her.

“Di?” she said.

I turned around. Her face was serious.

“Be careful. I know we’ve teased you about Joe, but I also know you had a rough time with Larry.”

“What do you mean?”

“He wasn’t a nice man. I never liked him. Yeah, he liked to joke, and he was funny, but his jokes often had an edge to them. He made you look small. And you didn’t deserve that.”

She didn’t know the half of it.

“Joe’s not like that,” I said.

“I know. He’s one of the good ones.”

“So?”

“Be careful.”

No matter what happened, it was good to have sisters.

I grinned. “Don’t worry. I’ll try not to stand by any candles to encourage the church to burst into flame at my entrance.”

“You do that.” But Kathleen’s face was still troubled.

“Don’t worry. It will be fine. I’ll stand up and down a few times, maybe make a joke with the priest. You know, usual stuff.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Have fun.”

I could think of other words for it.

~ ~ ~

Our Lady of the Pines was a rustic A-frame set amid its namesake trees. The sharp roofline gave it a dramatic flair, especially in the morning light, and the interior, with its open polished log beams and rustic pine pews, was welcoming.

---