Page 69 of Grown-Up Second Chance

“He was showing off, demonstrating how quickly he could unhook the spray and get a bear, proving she was safe with him. He stumbled.”

“And she wasn’t safe with him at all.”

“Not a bit.”

“People do the craziest things,” Joe said.

“They do. I’m not sure what’s more dangerous in a park—the animals or the people.”

“Even toss-up, I’d say.” Joe made the turn at West Thumb. “For the record, I’ve got bear spray. I’ve used it once in my lifetime, but it wasn’t on a human.”

“Good to know.”

The silence settled in again as we started through the basin region. The colors on the horizon deepened as the sun slid down, and light angled over the valley before us. Steam pools sported stripes of colors, the mineral makeup of the water sharpening the hues. Steam drifted in the darkening air, providing an otherworldly sensation.

Joe pulled into a parking lot, and we got out. He took my hand as we walked to a sheltered spot that was free of people. Then he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close.

Around us, steam clouds appeared as specters, hot water gurgled, and mud plopped, providing sound effects suitable for The Twilight Zone. The smell was sulphur-acrid, unpleasant, but not overpowering.

But none of that compared to the feeling of being snuggled next to Joe, the heat from his body messing with the temperature of my own. In summer, coats didn’t provide a protection against intimacy. His body contours were firm, especially compared to the over-softness of my own.

But my lack of physical fitness didn’t keep my treacherous body from desire. The more we stood there, the hotter I became, and it wasn’t from the geysers. All that heat was generated by desire, a rampant need for the man standing next to me.

That part of me was supposed to be dead. Larry had killed it years ago, hadn’t he?

The bubbling stew rising to the earth’s surface mocked me.

I’d buried my desires, unwilling to continue cutting myself on the sharp edges of Larry’s disinterest. Joe appeared interested, but what was I supposed to do with that? It had been years since I’d even attempted intimacy, shutting it all away behind a closed door with five different kinds of locks.

But no matter how much I tried to box myself into the older-woman-done-with-juiciness image, it wasn’t who I was. It had never been.

How had I wound up with someone like Larry?

I was saved from trying to answer that question by Joe.

“Amazing, isn’t it? I never get tired of seeing God’s glories.”

“I wonder what He was thinking when He constructed this place.”

Joe chuckled. “Maybe He was giving us a foretaste of what hell might be like, warning us to mind our Ps and Qs.”

“What does that even mean?” Somewhere in the recesses of my memory, I knew the answer, but couldn’t come up with it.

“Mind your please and thank yous,” Joe replied. He pulled me close again, and we watched the sun sink lower.

His hand moved to my waist as I leaned into him. It was very close to my hip. Need arose within me. It would be so simple for him to shift down five inches. A small space between chaste and—what did they used to call it?—carnal knowledge.

Well, that was probably a bit much. It would only be a hand on a hip, not what was truly meant by the other term. Was that what I ultimately desired? To know Joe at that level?

Back in high school, when hormones raged, I wanted him to kiss me, and then go further. I wanted to let him explore my young body until I told him to stop. Because one thing I knew then about Joe was that he was safe. If I said stop, he would.

And now? The man hadn’t changed. But he would let me take the lead … which damned me. I no longer knew how. What did men want?

I turned to look up at him, but his hand remained stubbornly on my waist.

“It’s beautiful,” I said, then parted my lips.

That was the signal, right? It’s what those young creatures with their plump lips, moist lipstick, and perfect teeth did in the movies, wasn’t it? Did it still work when age thinned lips, teeth had always been crooked, and a woman couldn’t remember where she’d put her lipstick?

---