Page 126 of Grown-Up Second Chance

Except it hurt just a little.

“We’re going to spend the end of January and early February around San Antonio,” I said.

“That sounds perfect. I can take the trailer to Dillon for Christmas and head down 15. I wouldn’t mind some sun then.”

I nodded. Logistically, it was all adding up. But emotionally? I wasn’t sure about that.

By the time we reached the river, he’d agreed to meet us in Oregon again in the spring and drive back to Montana.

“That’s a lot of driving for you,” I said.

“It’s more a lot of thinking time. I take voice notes about my book while I drive.”

“How’s that going?” I asked.

“I’m about two thirds the way through, which means I’m almost over that middle section. That’s the hardest to write for me.”

“I thought this was your first book.”

“Oh, no. I have a drawer full of them. I started my first book in high school.”

“What was it about?” I asked.

“You.”

“Me?”

“Yes. It was a modern day western suspense. You were the heroine in trouble, and I was determined to rescue you. But you rescued yourself first.”

“I never was good at waiting around to be rescued.”

“No, you weren’t.”

We stared at the river for a while.

“What scares you so much about taking a chance on us?” he asked.

“The truth?”

“It’s the only thing that really works,” he said.

“That, ultimately, when I take my clothes off, you won’t …” I looked away, swallowing hard to tamp down the emotional pain rising within me. Larry hadn’t wanted me, and he’d been my husband. I took a shaky breath. “I’m not sixteen anymore,” I whispered.

I couldn’t look at him, but my heart thumped so loudly I was sure he could hear it.

“Nothing could make me not want you,” he said.

“Then why won’t you …”

“It’s not you,” he said, shaking his head. “Something happened … I need to figure out how to tell you. But the problem is mine, not yours.”

“Oh my god,” I blurted out, turning to face him. “I knew it! You have ED!”

“What? No!” He burst out laughing. Soon he was laughing so hard he doubled over.

I couldn’t help myself; I started laughing, too.

After a few moments, we both collapsed on the ground, the hysteria ebbing away to a few hiccups of laughter. He took both my hands. “Di, I don’t have ED. I promise. And sweetheart, there is nothing wrong with you. You’re beautiful, just like you always were.”

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