Page 87 of Grown-Up Second Chance

“Your job is to get Joe here at the appointed time. No wandering off to the park.”

“Got it. We’re going out for a burger tonight. I’ll figure out his plans for tomorrow.”

“Dinner again?” Kathleen deliberately arched an eyebrow.

“Just friends,” I said. “Especially now that I know Liz is on spy duty.”

“If you say so.”

Chapter Twenty-Six

After our burgers had been served, and we dispensed with any small talk we had left, I decided to take the plunge.

“I’m sorry I did what I did after prom—freezing you out,” I said.

I’d expected “No problem.” Not what I got.

“Yeah. It was pretty devastating.” He picked up his burger, then put it back down on his plate. Leaning on his elbows and interweaving his fingers, he stared at me, his sky blue eyes clear and focused. Around us, the bar noise faded into the background.

“It took me a long time to figure out why it happened. I was doing what I’d been taught. I even asked my mom why you would stop talking to me.”

“What did she say?”

“She said I hadn’t been clear. For years I’d been acting like our friendship was no big deal, when everyone else in my family could see it was. I mean, Di, I was so focused on you. All I could do was think about you: the things you said, how you looked in a dress, maybe what was under that dress.”

“Joe Kelly!”

“What? I was human. I was a teenage boy. What else was I going to think about?”

“You were always going on about books you were reading. I didn’t think you considered much else.”

“Well, I did. I considered you.” His smile had a wickedness to it.

“I never knew.”

“And that, Mom explained, was the problem. I never admitted my feelings to myself, much less to you. Then all of a sudden, when we were in the car, I wanted to kiss you. I needed to kiss you. It must have been confusing.”

“I wasn’t confused,” I said. “I knew what I wanted.”

“You knew what your hormones wanted,” he said. “My dad had had multiple conversations about girls, sex, and a guy’s responsibility to stop. I thought it would be easy. Right up to the point when I had to tell you no.”

“Things in the abstract can be much more difficult in reality,” I said.

“Yes,” he agreed.

We had been teens. It couldn’t have been love back then. But why did I feel drawn to him so strongly even now? Back then I’d had a hazy idea of what love was and absolutely no idea what a marriage entailed. But somehow, I thought, if I’d waited, if I’d had even an ounce more of maturity, we might have made it.

We ate quietly for a few moments, both of us unsure, I thought, as to how to take the conversation forward. I didn’t really want to talk about Larry, but in fairness I needed to lay it out on the table.

“Larry and I met through friends. They thought we’d be perfect together. He oversaw several auto parts stores, part of the corporate headquarters, not really getting his hands dirty. After we met, he hired me to oversee the bookkeeping staff, make sure taxes were done, that kind of thing. We spent more and more time together, one thing led to another, and we got married.”

“Did you love him?” Joe asked.

“I thought I did. I mean, he was good-looking in an alpha male kind of way. He went to the gym and took care of himself. He had good teeth, nice clothes, and a recently purchased car. He even had retirement savings.”

“Be still my beating heart,” Joe said, putting his hand on his chest.

“Oh, shut up,” I said and laughed.

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