I grab her by the arm and give her a hard yank, and she staggers and trips. She makes a huge show of falling to the ground, knocking over a table in the process. Empty coffee cups crash onto the floor. Everyone's staring at us now.
Her face is bright red, tears streaming down her cheeks. She points at me, screaming, "Assault! Assault! She attacked me! You all saw. Everybody saw! Crash, help me, help!"
Tawny's fists are balled. She stalks toward Astrid, and I catch her eye and give her a quick headshake.
"Why not?" she demands.
I blink hard because I don't want Astrid to see me cry. "If you're in prison, you can't be my bodyguard. And since there's a good chance I'm never talking to Crash again, I need you." My heart is rattling around in my chest like a bird desperate to escape its cage.
Tawny heaves a sigh and takes a step back, flexing her fingers and staring intently at Astrid.
A uniformed police officer sets his coffee on the counter and walks toward us. People are holding up their phones, taking pictures and probably videos.
This will be all over their Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.
And I'm not wearing my wig. Oh, horse feathers.
Just as Astrid lunges for Crash again, the cop reaches us and grabs her by the arm. She frantically tries to wriggle free from his grasp.
"I am Astrid Menasco of the Kentucky Menascos, and my family can buy and sell you!" she shrieks. "We can buy and sell your whole department!"
"Good for you." The cop maintains his hold on her skinny upper arm.
"She's not my fiancée. She's a crazy stalker. I've met her exactly once," Crash tells the cop. "She's been calling and harassing me, and I'm getting ready to file a damned restraining order."
I feel like a rug has been yanked out from under my feet. He's met her before, and she's been calling and stalking him? And he never said a word to me? How can I be sure he didn't give her a reason to think something was between them?"
"If I'm not your fiancée, then who bought me this ring?" She holds her hand up and wiggles her finger. "And why is there an engagement announcement running in the paper?"
She reaches into her jacket pocket and pulls out a newspaper page with her free hand. Triumphantly, she waves it in the air. It's a Kentucky newspaper, and I can see at a glance that her name and Crash's are in the headline.
What the hell?
She sees the look on my face. "Oh yeah." Her lips bend up in a weird, ugly smirk. "There's plenty that he hasn't told you." Her mascara has run, her lipstick is smeared, and her hair is frazzled. She's gone from lovely to scary in no time flat.
"We can all go down to the station and sort this out," the officer says.
"I want to press charges against her!" Astrid tries to lunge for me again, and he jerks her back.
"Do that again, and I'll handcuff you."
"You'll be mopping floors at McDonalds'!" she screams at him.
"Sounds restful." He reaches for the cuffs on his belt, and she settles down immediately.
Patrol cars are waiting outside of the coffee shop. I can't even count how many people are taking pictures of us now. This is not good.
Tawny, Crash, and I ride in one patrol car to the station, and Astrid is taken in a separate patrol car.
At the station, I sit next to Crash, listening in growing astonishment as he gives his side of the story to a bored-looking police officer.
His father, Emerson Barrington III, wants Crash to settle down and start acting respectable because he's running for a vacant senate seat. His father is currently the mayor of a town in Kentucky. He asked Crash to marry the daughter of a wealthy business partner and sent her to ambush him with a proposal in New York City. Crash refused.
Crash gave his phone number to his stepmother, who gave it to his father…who gave it to Astrid.
And Astrid's called Crash half a dozen times since then.
This happened after I went to North Carolina, and Crash didn't even tell me.