Page 89 of The Belle and the Biker

Aunt Hepzibah looks narrowly at his bike. “Is that your bike? It’s a loud one.”

“Rides real smooth, though.” He gestures at the bike. “My name is Tank.” And then he shocks me by bending slightly at the waist in a courtly bow. “I’m Crash’s friend. I had the pleasure of hosting your great-niece for a little while. And you must be Hepzibah. You’re every bit as lovely as your niece described you. Would you do me the honor of showing me around your lovely town?”

I wince, waiting for her to brutally shoot him down. Tank is a good guy. I hope she’s not too mean.

She examines the bike thoughtfully. “Is it safe for dogs?”

Say what now?

“It is if I’m driving. I ride real careful-like when I have a pretty lady in my sidecar.” He opens the door and makes a sweeping gesture.

My jaw drops. Aunt Hepzibah walks out the door without a glance back. I follow her out.

“Are you sure?” I say nervously.

“Hepzibah?” Beauford Spillwell pops out of the barber shop, his hair freshly shorn, clutching a newspaper to his chest. His eyes are wide with bewilderment as he looks at Tank and then my aunt. “What are you doing?”

“One moment,” Aunt Hepzibah says to Tank. She walks back into the diner. She comes out carrying a coffee cup, walks over, and throws its contents on Beauford’s crotch.

He yells in anger. “You crazy witch! What was that for?”

“Being you,” Hepzibah says.

“Call her a witch again.” Tank’s fists clench, and his eyes blaze dangerously.

Beauford takes a step back. “Sorry,” he mumbles, hunching his shoulders and scurrying off.

Then my aunt climbs into the sidecar with Tiddlywinks, and Tank helps her put a helmet on. Beauford watches from a safe distance. A minute later, Tank is driving off.

Daisy, Callie, and Mae come out of the diner and stand next to me, watching them roar off down the street.

“What just happened?” I wail. “Did my great-aunt just let herself get picked up by an old biker dude? I…she…”

They’ve disappeared in a cloud of dust.

“What a skank,” Mae observes. “Hope he’s using protection.”

“Oh my God, Gramma Mae.” Callie looks as if she’s about to hurl.

Across the street, I see Carlisle emerging from the general store, heading our way. I hope he didn’t just see that. Oh, who am I kidding… Everybody saw it, and it’ll be all over town within the hour. My great-aunt and Tank.

“I am not sure if I approve,” I say furiously.

“I’m right there with you,” Callie says. I’m surprised by her support. She’s never liked my aunt. “I mean, did you hear him speak? Shockingly ungrammatical.”

I roll my eyes. “It’s not that. She just met him. This is ridiculous. I knew Crash for months before I…before we…”

“You’re not eighty,” Daisy points out. “She doesn’t have as much time to waste.”

With Hepzibah and Tank safely out of the way, Beauford reverses course and hurries back to us, holding his newspaper in front of his crotch.

“Mae!” he calls out. “I’ve had a change of heart, and that Hepzibah was just a passing fancy. You’re the only one for me.”

Carlisle walks over to Mae and links his arm through hers. Right here in public. On Main Street. Am I in an alternate dimension?

“Daisy?” I squeak.

Her eyes are bugging wide open, and she and Callie exchange open-mouthed stares.

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