Page 182 of P.S. I'm Still Yours

“I am, not that it’s any of your business.”

“Considering you’re dating Gray’s sister, it is my fucking business. Jesus Christ, man, are you trying to get caught? You’re not fucking alone in this. You go down, I go down with you.”

Alarms blare in my head.

I don’t want to go there.

We promised we wouldn’t talk about this ever again.

We fucking swore.

Every time he pulled me aside this summer, he’d get on my case about getting close to Hadley, but he never mentioned Gray.

He never went into details like this.

I can’t handle the details. They make me fucking sick.

“We’re not doing this.” I shut him out.

“Yes, we are. I’m not going to fucking jail because you can’t keep it in your pants.”

My fists roll into tight weapons, and I have no doubt if he keeps this up, said weapons are going leave a big bruise on his face.

“Out of all the pussy in the world. All the fucking girls who would throw themselves at your feet without a moment’s hesitation. Why’d you have to go for her? The one girl who could ruin our lives?”

“Because I’m in love with her.” I state the fact.

Color spills from his face, but he’s quick to restore his poker face.

“That’s just your guilt speaking.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Doesn’t feel any less real.”

Either way, if I’ve learned anything from sharing a house with Hadley, it’s that my feelings are not going away.

“Okay, I’m sorry, but this is bullshit. You’re not in love with her. And even if you were, do you really think she’d love you back if she knew? Do you think she’d ever forgive you?”

I keep my mouth shut. Partly because he’s right.

Hadley Queen would never be mine.

Not if she knew I played a part in the worst day of her life.

Scar grips my shoulders as if to knock some sense into me. “Man, I’m fucking begging you. Get that girl out of your life before—”

“No.”

That’s what makes him snap.

“You think you can just pretend like you didn’t kill her fucking brother?”

There must be something in the air

Some sort of chemical.

Something toxic.

All I know is I can’t fucking breathe.

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