Page 218 of P.S. I'm Still Yours

I just wish I’d known that telling him everything would mean putting myself through it all over again.

By the time I finish the story, I feel as though I’m going to be sick. The room is spinning, the air in my lungs is scarce, and I’m on the verge of a full-blown panic attack.

Sitting on the couch across from me, Josh struggles to process the information I’ve shared with him. He doesn’t speak or look at me for long seconds, staring blankly into space.

I can’t imagine what he must think of me right now.

Fuck, I bet he regrets ever managing me.

“I-I didn’t have a choice. He had a gun, and I—”

“I know,” he cuts me off. “I know it wasn’t your fault, kid.”

Every part of my body unwinds.

Hearing him say that fills my chest with relief, and I inhale a sharp breath, attempting to calm myself down.

“You didn’t know that was going to happen. You just wanted a night off. That’s not a crime.” The understanding in his voice shocks me.

What? No lecture?

No “you should’ve known better”?

He’s almost too calm.

It’s freaking me out.

“You made a mistake that escalated into something much bigger than anyone could’ve ever anticipated. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. We can fix it.”

For a split second, I’m almost glad that Scar went behind my back and called Josh.

I’m glad that I have my mentor’s guidance to help me through this nightmare.

“I know we have to go to the police. We need to tell them everything,” I state the obvious.

That’s when he says the last thing I wanted to hear.

“That’s not what I meant…”

I blink at him for a few seconds, half expecting him to backtrack.

But he never does.

“Kane, listen to me…” He joins his hands together, leaning forward as he props his elbows on his knees. “Do you have any idea what going to the police would do to your career?”

My jaw drops.

Did he just imply that protecting my career is more important than Gray getting justice?

“Your contract clearly states that you can’t, under any circumstances, do anything that might cast the label in a negative light. You going to trial for driving the getaway car to someone’s murder wouldn’t exactly bring good publicity. They’d drop you without a moment’s hesitation.”

I hear what he’s saying, I do.

But as much as I love singing, I couldn’t give less of a fuck about all that legal stuff right now.

I don’t care if the label drops me. I don’t care if I never get to step foot on a stage again.

Gray’s dead.

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