Page 222 of P.S. I'm Still Yours

He rises to his feet, crossing the space between us and taking a seat right next to me. He tries a glance in my direction and reaches for my hand, his hesitation made clear by the pause that follows.

He waits for me to remove my hand from his hold.

I don’t.

Not yet.

He seems to take my acceptance of his affection as a good sign, lacing our fingers together and inhaling a shaky breath. “Fuck, Hadley, I… This past month has been a nightmare. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to wake up. I can’t fucking take it. Most days, I miss you so much I want to tear everyone’s head off. I don’t know how to live in a world you’re not a part of. It’s fucking pathetic, but it’s true.”

I wish someone had prepared me for this.

The goodbye that fucks you up beyond repair.

“I love you, Hads. I love you so fucking much. Just… don’t leave me. Please.”

His green eyes have never looked so bright, the color of his irises enhanced by the tears shrouding them. I can’t tell him what he really wants to hear, but I can tell him the truth.

“I love you, too,” I croak.

And it is the truth.

I’ve loved him for almost my entire life, and I’m convinced a part of me will continue to love him in every life after that.

Even if I have to live all of them without him.

Kane’s mouth parts at my admission.

He emits a sigh of relief, his shoulders unwinding, and it breaks me. Although, nothing splinters my heart quite as much as the rush of desire roaring inside me when he pulls me closer.

His mouth comes down on mine, grazing the corner of my lips for an instant. I don’t shove him off, inching closer in response. A groan of satisfaction rips from his throat, and the next thing I know, he’s going all in, marking my mouth with a bruising kiss I feel deep in my stomach.

The worst part? I let him kiss me.

I don’t have the strength to push him away. I just don’t, so I open up for him, granting his tongue access. He immediately accepts the invitation, his tongue slipping inside my mouth and reducing whatever resistance was left in my body to ashes.

His kiss carries urgency, desperation, but mostly, it conveys fear. I know Kane. He’s terrified. Scared that I’ll come to my senses and leave him again.

For good this time.

My hands are in his hair before I can overthink my own actions, pulling at his scalp for more. Only then does he surrender to the moment, groaning against my mouth and pinning me down under him.

He climbs on top of me on the couch, grabbing the lower half of my neck with one hand and holding himself up with the other. We’re both panting, our chests meeting with each breath we inhale. I moan when he traps my bottom lip between his teeth and pulls hard, releasing it a split second later. You’d think he was inside me based on the noises I’m making.

It’s been an entire month since we slept together, and we’re both feeling the effects of withdrawal, impatiently clawing at each other’s clothes.

I only realize I’m rocking against his cock when he grits out a low “Fuck, Hadley.”

He’s rock hard, straining against his pants and positioned perfectly. The back-and-forth of his body against mine creates just the right amount of pressure between my thighs, and it doesn’t take me long to know this dry-humping business is not going to be enough for me.

“Touch me. Touch me, please,” I nearly cry out, playing with the buckle of his belt.

Normally, he’d tease me.

He’d torture me the way he always does, and I’d be a writhing mess by the time he gives me what I want, but he doesn’t seem to have the self-control needed to deny me.

Not after we’ve been apart for a month.

He doesn’t argue, immediately curling his fingers inside the waistband of my leggings and yanking them down my legs. He doesn’t stop until he has me completely naked and at his mercy on the couch.

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