Page 68 of Untamed

“Tryin’ to break that horse,” I tell him as I stand up and walk over to where Rhett and Pops are leaning against the fence.

“I can see that,” he says. “Not doin’ a great job, are ya?”

“Can sense his heartache.” Rhett smirks at me.

“Not heartbroken,” I tell him. “Nothin’ to be heartbroken about.”

“Did you or did you not break up with River a few days ago?” Rhett asks.

“Did not.” I turn my baseball cap around backward. “Did not break up with her. Just told her I needed some time to think things through.”

“Heard she was pretty upset,” Pops says, eyeing me like he’s close to whacking me upside the head.

“She was,” Rhett answers for me. “Poppy all but carried her back to the barn, and I had to follow them into town so Poppy could drive River’s Jeep. She was in no state to be drivin’ home.”

“Which leads me to believe,” Pops adds, “that you broke her damn heart.”

“Yeah, well. I have a bone to pick with both of you anyway. So I’m glad you’re here.”

“If this is about that funeral nonsense, save it.” Pops gives me one of those stern looks I used to get as a kid. The one that tells you he means some serious business.

“Y’all hid it from me. Both of you, Wells, Momma… I was the one kept out of the loop.”

“There was no loop to be in,” Rhett tells me. “She came, she said what she needed to say, and she went back to the city to finish her degree.”

“She didn’t say what she needed to say to me,” I correct him.

“She did. You just don’t remember it because you were too busy gettin’ so drunk you couldn’t even form memories.” Pops rarely gets angry, and he’s never been the type to go off on you when he was mad. He’s usually silent, letting you come to the conclusion yourself. But now it seems he’s decided to break his silence.

“You were in rough fuckin’ shape,” Rhett agrees.

“I sat up with you all night, making sure you weren’t going to choke on your own vomit. She hung around for a second, kissin’ your forehead and whispering to you while you slept. I could see the hurt and the love she had for you, Hayes. But stickin’ around to be your crutch was not her job. Lord knows she’s had enough of that role when it comes to her momma.”

“I didn’t expect her to be my crutch, Pops.” I sigh and lean forward onto the fence, dropping my head as I try to sort out all the thoughts I’ve been left alone with for the past few days. “But I sure as hell expected her to stay around and let me know she showed up.”

“Why?” Rhett asks. “So you could beg her to stay? Use your grief to sway her thinking?”

“That is not—”

“That may not be what you intended to do,” he continues, cutting me off. “But that’s sure as hell how she would’ve felt.”

“You think it would’ve been fair to her for you to use her as a shoulder to cry on after losing your sister?” Pops asks. “She’s a good woman, a great woman, actually, and she would’ve stuck around to be there for you when you needed her. Even though it would’ve meant forgiving you when you had no right to the forgiveness.”

“I lost my sister!” I practically yell at them. “I think that constitutes a ‘let bygones be bygones’ situation.”

“You told me that you understood why she didn’t come,” Rhett says. “You said that you were an ass, made her feel like shit, and that you understood why she didn’t want to be around you.”

“Yeah. You’re right. I did.” I take a deep breath and try to get a handle on my emotions. These past few days have been maddening. My brain is trying to sort through so many conflicting thoughts that I haven’t had a moment’s peace.

“Before I knew she was here and that she hid it from me, I was able to accept it. Have some sort of peace with the fact that I pushed her away so hard she couldn’t even come say goodbye to Addie. I was able to take that fault and live with it.”

“So, why is this so different, son?”

“Because she saw me.” I look up at Pops with watery eyes. “She saw how fucked I was, and she was able to walk away from that. Doesn’t that mean something?”

“Oh, Hayes.” He sighs and puts his hand on top of mine, squeezing hard. “What do you think that means? That she doesn’t love you?”

I can’t even talk right now because if I do, I’m going to start blubbering like a fool. I nod and break eye contact, lookin’ down at my boots.

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