Page 24 of Honeyed

Mom’s head whips in my direction and the fork that Evan is holding clatters to the table.

“Stop playing jokes on us.” Mom’s voice is annoyed, but I hear the tinge of caution in it.

Like she knows I’m not bluffing.

“Why are you yelling out here?” Dad moseys out, drying his hands with a kitchen towel.

“She’s saying that she married Warren without any of us there,” Evan repeats, looking skeptical.

“I did. We’re married. Husband and wife. Went to the courthouse and finally sealed the deal,” I inform them and hear Dad make a noise in the back of his throat.

Warren comes out of the back, and I see the disappointment in his eyes. If it were up to him, we would have sat everyone down, gotten them gifts or something, gotten on our knees, and begged for their forgiveness. But I’m not him, and that’s not my style. I’ve always asked for forgiveness rather than permission, and this is my family. Yes, he’s a part of it, but he always gives in to their customs of respect way more than I do. My family needs to remember I am a grown adult and can make decisions without consulting any of them. I’m tired of being the “princess” trapped in the tower.

“Goddammit, Al. You couldn’t even wait until you and I regrouped before announcing this?” Warren reprimands me, and it does nothing to make us look like happy newlyweds.

“What the fuck did you do?” Liam growls as he emerges from the kitchen, murderous gaze directed in my fake husband’s direction.

“You got married?” Patrick adds to the discussion.

The only person not here from the inner circle is Cass, and I know I’ll get a phone call later where my sister-in-law chews me out. Nonna isn’t here either, and I’m kind of glad she isn’t. My grandmother would be able to see right through me, and I need to address her psychic ass separately.

Calmly, I stand in the middle of the chaos and try to address their yelling. “Yes, we got married. We went to the courthouse in Truesdale and eloped because we didn’t want to wait any longer. It’s been coming for years.”

Extending my hand, I motion for Warren to come and grab ahold of it. We need to look like a united front right now and need to make it seem like we’re lovers who can’t stand to be apart for one second more.

A sniffle from the corner grabs my attention. “My baby girl got married and I wasn’t there.”

Mom bursts into tears, and Evan jumps up to comfort her, shooting me a pissed-off look that I’ve made our mother cry.

“Mom, we didn’t want a big thing, we wanted it to be just us.” Guilt wracks me, and an alarm goes off in my head, telling me that this is going to be harder than I naively assumed it wouldn’t be.

“How fucking dare you?” Dad growls, and this is directed at Warren.

“Thomas, I—” My fake husband’s voice pleads with my father before Patrick cuts him off.

“Dad, uncalled for. But also … dude, what were you thinking? This is nuts.” My older brother shakes his head.

Surprise and hurt hit me square in the chest. “It’s nuts that he would want to marry me? Gee, thanks, family, for being so supportive. Perhaps this is why we didn’t tell you before we did it.”

I mean, that’s not the reason at all, but it’s not like Warren and I are going to come out and admit our whole marriage is a sham.

“Why don’t we all calm down? This isn’t the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. They’ve been thick as thieves for years. If it makes them happy, then let’s chill out. Congratulations, guys.” Evan finally surfaces with a rational thought.

“Are you happy?” Mom sniffles again and wipes a tear from her cheek.

I do my best to plaster on the most lovey-dovey smile I can as I look up at Warren. “So happy.”

He palms my cheek, and it almost feels real enough as I lean into the touch. Then he addresses my family.

“Obviously, we didn’t want to spring it on you this way. Or well, I didn’t, but you all know how she is. It’s one of the things I love about her. One day, I woke up and realized I needed to pull my head out of my ass and marry this woman before someone else did. I love you all so much, you’re family to me, and I’m very sorry we didn’t include you in this huge life moment. But standing there with Alana, your daughter, your sister, as she looked at me … knowing we were promising our lives to each other? It was the most perfect moment of my life. I love her, I hope you all know how much. I promise we’ll let you celebrate however you want to, and I’ll make sure she doesn’t act annoyed. But please know I’m going to take such good care of her.”

If my family’s jaws aren’t on the floor, mine certainly is. That sounded like the most convincing confession of true love I’ve ever heard, and for a second, I let my heart soak in it. I let my romantic whimsies and girlish squeeing get carried away.

Then I remember; this is all a front. He’s saying exactly what everyone wants to hear, exactly what everyone needs to hear to start coming to terms with the fact that we’re husband and wife.

Liam crosses the room, sizing Warren up. He squeezes my hand in his, bracing for something, and my heart beats wildly in my chest.

That’s when my brother extends his hand to my fake husband. “Welcome to the family. Officially.”

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