Page 48 of Honeyed

Love.

Yeah, we have a lot to talk about. But right now, I just want to hold her in this bed a little longer.

“I have to meet with Arthur’s director of business later today. I promised I would during the weekend since we’ve been so busy with getting Lily ready. So I have to run over there at some point, but other than that, I’m yours.” Always will be, but we’ll get to that later.

“What’re you talking about with him?” She stretches, her breasts peeking out from beneath the sheet as it settles on her midriff.

I palm one, unable to help it because I’ve dreamed of being able to touch them with free rein for years. She sighs, pressing her lips to my collarbone as we’re dragged into the lust we’ve fought for a decade once more.

“A little bit of this, little bit of that,” I murmur, much more interested to start our morning with no talking.

Her spine goes rigid under my hand, and before I know what’s happening, Alana pulls back and sits up on the side of the bed.

“What’s wrong?” I ask immediately, touching her shoulder.

She shrugs it off, rising angrily as she half-stomps her gorgeous naked body across the room.

“I thought we told each other everything,” she mutters, pulling on a pair of sweatpants she pulls from a drawer.

It feels like I have whiplash, that’s how sudden the shift in moods hits me. “We do, Alana … come back to bed. It was a throwaway comment. Are you … are you freaking out about what happened last night?”

If she is, I feel like I would have picked up on it. But we both seemed cool as cucumbers just seconds ago, as if we were in the most natural place either of us could be.

Her brows furrow together as she looks over her shoulder to give me a scowl. “You know I’m not. I’m not ‘freaking out,’ Warren.”

“Baby, I don’t get what’s happening.”

“Don’t baby me. Don’t use pet names just because you finally stuck your dick in me last night.”

My heart twinges like she flicked it, the feeling more a reflex of the muscle than pain. I called her baby because I’ve been waiting years too, and thought I was allowed to use it now. Apparently not.

“Alana, I don’t understand what I said, please, explain it to me.” Am I just an idiot male with no idea what he did wrong?

Or is this woman freaking out about something I don’t even get.

Her blue eyes are incredulous as she stares at me, tapping her foot like I’ve pissed her off more by having to explain this. If she weren’t so furious right now, I’d go over there and take her again, she looks so goddamn beautiful with her tits still hanging out like that.

“For years you’ve been keeping little things from me. The fact that you had a relationship with Arthur. You not being happy as the manager at the restaurant anymore. We were supposedly best friends, and yet I didn’t know such important details about your life.”

Defeat suffuses my chest, because now I understand what set Alana off. I didn’t mean it like that, not in the slightest, but it’s been a sticking point, even if we’ve never discussed it.

I get up, locate my clothes, and pull my boxers on so I don’t talk this out with a half-hard dick just swinging in the breeze. Much to my displeasure, Alana also pulls on a shirt in the time span it takes me to cover myself.

This is when I have to tell her, when we get it all out on the table. I thought we’d get a minute’s reprieve from all the obstacles facing us, but true to form, Alana and I never get the peace I’ve so wanted for us. If we want everything, we have to walk through fire to get it.

“I had to distance myself somehow. My life, who I am, is so entangled in you and your family. I needed something for me.” My voice breaks with this knowledge, offloading it and finally sharing the truth with her.

I know it will hurt her, but I need to be honest now. If I want to finally keep her, I have to be honest. When I dare a glance at Alana, I’m correct in thinking this revelation will gut her. Distrust and apprehension mark her expression, and she’s folded her arms around her as if trying to comfort herself.

But before she can talk, I continue.

“Warren, the failed football star. Warren, the adopted son. Warren, the murderer’s son. Warren this, Warren that. There are so many labels people have pinned on me over the years, I didn’t even know who I was. It took time, baby. And yes, you stubborn woman, I’m calling you that because I have gone sixteen years not calling you that, and it’s killed me every single day I don’t get to say it. I had no idea who I was and needed space to figure that out. Without strings attached or expectations from anyone else.

“So yes, I had things I kept to myself, because it was essential in order to get me to this place. With you. Arthur saw it, or else he wouldn’t have forced me to marry you. My God, the old man was one hundred percent right in doing so. You may not have known little things, but you’ve always known me. Every part of me, you understood. It took me a while to realize it, but Arthur saw it. And he pushed us together to make this happen. Please, don’t quit on me now. I know we have a lot to overcome and to talk about. But everything changed last night, you have to know that. I want us, for real. Forever.”

“So you’re saying you wouldn’t have crossed the line of friendship, last night wouldn’t have happened, if Arthur hadn’t forced you into it? Wow, way to make a girl feel special.” I should have known she wouldn’t take my confession well.

Alana is a dog with a bone when she’s in fight mode, and she’s not dropping this until she gets every answer she wants.

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