Page 1 of Closer than Ever

One

June 2013

Anna glanced up at the departure board. Hayley’s flight number was moving up the schedule nauseatingly quickly. Their time together was disappearing. Her chest was tight. It was the end of an era. Hayley was leaving. Forever. She still couldn’t believe it even though she’d known this day would come. Even though she understood that Hayley had to go it didn’t make it any easier.

BA1441 changed to Go to Gate. Anna felt sick and lightheaded. They were out of time.

Sitting beside her on the cold metal chairs, Hayley reached out and held Anna’s hand. Her touch was reassuringly warm and comforting.

Would Anna ever see her again? Would things be the same? How was she going to live without her?

They searched each other’s eyes. The enormity of the moment was suffocating. Hayley’s eyes were glassed over and red. Anna could feel her own eyes stinging. But she wouldn’t cry. Not yet.

“I guess I’d better go through security,” Hayley’s voice cracked.

Anna swallowed. They stood and faced each other for one last time. This sucked so much.

“Come here.” Hayley held out her arms.

Their whole bodies pressed against each other. Anna got lost in Hayley’s embrace, still not used to holding her this closely. The euphoria and sadness of last night was still reverberating around her body. Hayley’s taste was still fresh on her tongue.

“I’ll miss you so much,” Hayley whispered over Anna’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay. We’ll talk all the time.” She planted a soft kiss on Anna’s cheek. Anna leant into it with her eyes squeezed shut. They lingered cheek to cheek for a moment.

Hayley’s words lacked their usual conviction, but it was sweet of her to try and make the situation easier. She always made things okay. Anna wanted to believe her. But would Hayley really miss her? Especially after the fuck up that was last night?

Anna forced herself to keep it together as her eyes welled up. “This is it then.”

“Only for now.”

Anna took a photograph in her mind, not wanting to forget this moment, wanting to always remember Hayley as she was now: ready to take on the world.

Hayley glanced up at the screen. She was cutting it fine, as usual. Anna was anxious Hayley was going to miss the flight she didn’t want her to catch. The whole situation was the absolute worst.

Hayley threw her backpack over her shoulder with a sombre expression and a hint of distance creeping onto her face already.

Their hands entwined, one last time, before Hayley slowly pulled away. Their hands dropped. It was only a few steps, but it felt like the entire world.

“Goodbye, Anna.”

Words felt thick in her throat, not wanting to come out. “Goodbye, Hayley.”

Anna watched, rooted to the spot, as Hayley drifted through to departures, willing the tears not to fall. Not yet.

Hayley turned around and looked back, giving one last, final, sad wave. Anna returned it before Hayley disappeared around a corner.

Hayley was gone.

Anna bent over, dropping her hands to her knees, as the tears fell.

***

Present day

Anna studied the arrivals information screen in Balbuinidh’s empty train station, remembering the pain of the last time she saw Hayley ten years ago. They’d been so close then, but it felt like a lifetime ago.

Hayley’s train would be here in less than twenty minutes. Anna’s heart pounded. Her palms were sweaty. She had to get herself under control because she was about to be spending a lot of time over the next week or so with her first love, the girl who had left her heartbroken, the girl of her dreams.

Anna pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked the last messages Hayley had sent earlier this afternoon. Knowing they were coming from inside the country was strange. Thrilling, even.

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