Page 35 of Closer than Ever

“Do you mind if we move to the side?” Anna asked Hayley, beside her, who was shouting along with the people around them. Love is Love. Love is Love. Gay Marriage Now.

“It’s all kicking-off here. Why would we leave this spot?”

Anna nodded, feeling dizzier and shakier by the second. Her mouth felt dry. There was a horrible feeling of impending dread in the pit of her stomach.

Hayley regarded her closely, which in itself was disconcerting. Being there with the wonder that was Hayley Pearson was seriously messing with her head.

“You look pale, honey.” Concern grew on Hayley’s face. “We’ll move.”

They waded through the crowd and chants. It was all a bit much. Anna rested against a wall and tried to focus on her breathing, but it wasn’t working. Her head felt disconnected from her body. She squatted down, holding the floor in front of her, feeling like she might either be sick or pass out.

Hayley joined her by her side, keeping a close eye on her.

“I think I might be having a panic attack.”

“Shit. How can I help?”

“I don’t know.”

Hayley rested her hand on Anna’s lower back, which set Anna’s heart rate off even higher and made her feel dizzier. Last month, Anna had realised that she was gay. Gay for Hayley. She hadn’t told anyone. And now she was at a gay marriage protest with Hayley. Hayley who took her breath away and made her world tilt on its axis even at the best of times. Everything was upside down. She could not think clearly.

“Try to take deep breaths.” Hayley massaged Anna’s back with her hand.

“That doesn’t do anything,” Anna grumbled. If Hayley didn’t stop that Anna would for sure pass out.

“Look into my eyes.”

“What?”

“Look into my eyes.”

Anna looked up.

“I’m right here with you. I’ve got you.”

Anna let herself really look into Hayley’s eyes. There was a hazel tinge to them that was mesmerising. She couldn’t look away.

“Breathe in.” Hayley demonstrated. “Hold it. And slowly breathe out. Follow me.”

Anna went along with Hayley’s breathing, finding it did start to help. Hayley took her hand and squeezed it. The touch was both electrifying and grounding. The more Anna looked into Hayley’s eyes, the calmer she started to feel. There was something so soothing about Hayley. So strong and steady.

“Can you stand up?”

Anna stood up. Her body felt like a dead weight and her eyes went all blurry for a few seconds.

Hayley wrapped her arms around her and squeezed her so tight.

Anna’s chest compressed. Her arms hung limp at her sides. “Uh. What’s this about?”

Hayley squeezed her tighter. “I saw it on Grey’s Anatomy. It’s supposed to calm people down when they’re freaking out. Is it working?”

“Yes.” It was, strangely. “But you’re taking all the air out of me.”

Hayley let her go. Anna missed her already.

“Do you want to go?”

“I do. Sorry. Do you mind?”

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