“Don’t apologise. I just want you to be okay. Come on.”
Back in the flat, Anna lay down on the sofa, feeling embarrassed but not quite completely over it yet. Forcing herself to take deep breaths, she felt her body begin to relax a bit.
Hayley came through with the blanket Anna had got her for her birthday and draped it over Anna’s body, tucking her in. She stroked Anna’s forehead, still looking a bit concerned.
Anna subtly inhaled Hayley’s smell on the blanket, still tingling from her touch.
“How are you feeling?”
“Much better.”
“That’s good.”
“I’m a bit mortified, to be honest.”
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. I’m just glad you’re feeling better.”
“I was never like this as a kid, by the way. I had no fear. I was such a confident little girl. I don’t know why I get so worked up about things these days.”
Hayley looked at her. “I’m sure that little kid is still within you, somewhere.”
“I hope she isn’t. She’d cringe so hard at who she’s become.”
“You’re too tough on yourself. Take it easy, Anna. Get some rest.”
“I will.”
Hayley took a seat across from her. “I’ll be right here.”
Anna turned onto her side and curled into a ball. Her eyes rested on Hayley at an angle. “Hayley?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks for today. I feel so taken care of.”
“Don’t mention it.”
“I want to. You’re amazing. I’m grateful you were there for me today. And every day. Just wanted to say that.”
“Well, you know.” Hayley stumbled over her words, which was unlike her. “You’re my person. I know we haven’t known each other for very long, but that’s how I feel. You’re my best friend over here, Anna. You mean a lot to me.”
The hairs on the back of Anna’s neck stood up. Having someone as incredible as Hayley Pearson say she was her best friend was not something that happened every day. Or ever, really. And Hayley had said it with such sincerity and vulnerability. The moment stretched on in a blur of tiredness mixed with euphoria. “You’re my person too,” Anna said, happy, smiling from within. “My best friend. On any continent.”
Hayley smiled, slowly, widely, unguarded. It was so beautiful. She was so beautiful. “I like the sound of that. I feel the same, actually. On any continent.”
***
Present day
Anna crossed her arms around her chest and rocked forward and back. It soothed her. They were about to tick off their first activity from the list by wild swimming in a loch. Anna wasn’t sure how she felt about it now that she was here and faced with getting into cold and dangerous water.
Hayley was sitting beside her on the beach in front of the loch. They were finally on the trip, though, which was good. Anna had to pinch herself that it was actually happening. Working her two weeks’ notice gave time for Hayley to see and do things in the local area and for Anna to get ready for the trip, both practically and emotionally. Although she wasn’t getting any further on the emotional front. Thinking back to the day of the gay marriage protest, for example, and when they had admitted they were each other’s person was not helping Anna combat her crush.
Hayley had been doing day trips on her own and shopping for various supplies for their longer trip, including getting a new mattress for the larger base Anna had installed since agreeing to go. Hayley and Myla had become friends, going for walks and coffees during the day. Having Hayley coming and going was both highly unusual and so easy to get used to, although it didn’t feel like real life. It was like they were living together again, but it was still out of the ordinary. In some ways, it was almost like she hadn’t been gone for ten years. As ever, this time with Hayley was only temporary. She had to not let herself get too drawn in.
“You seem a bit tense, Anna. Have you done this before?”
“No.”