Page 57 of Closer than Ever

“Well, yeah. I think so.”

Hayley must not have found the type of love she was describing yet. That made Anna sad, not only for Hayley’s sake, but also that Hayley didn’t see that potential in Anna. “I hope you find what you’re looking for someday.”

Hayley sipped her wine.

Anna scanned the room of other diners. Most of them looked like couples. Some were chatting away, others not saying much to each other.

“Do you think love should feel like hard work?” Hayley asked, head resting on the palm of her hand, elbow on the table. “Because on some level all of my relationships have felt that way. And that’s for sure not what I’m looking for.”

“I don’t think it should feel like hard work. No. It can be hard work. You do have to put in an effort, but no, it shouldn’t feel like a chore. Love should feel like the most comfortable thing you’ve ever experienced, and the most exciting. They’re contradictory things but having both is necessary, I think. Making your partner happy should make you happy. Because the relationship is the most special thing in the world to you both and you want to protect it at all costs. You want it to be something that’s like your safe place to fall, surely. The place you can come home to at the end of the day and just be yourself. And be loved for who you really are.”

“That sounds wonderful.”

“I know.”

“I want that.”

Anna continued, aware she was about to go off on a tangent. “I also think that love shows us the things inside of us that need to heal. It challenges us to grow in ways we never thought necessary until we met that person. We either learn the lesson, or we don’t, and we go on to repeat the same lesson again and again until we get it right.”

This conversation wasn’t easy for Anna. Hayley was her first love, and she was never going to tell her that. It was too tragic for words at this point. Anna swallowed, wondering what lesson she hadn’t learned yet from all those years ago.

Hayley broke the silence. “I like that. I’m going to think about that some more.” Hayley held Anna’s gaze. The intensity of the connection was impossible to ignore. Why was she staring at her like that?

Their starters came. They leaned back from the table as the waiter put down their plates. They ate in a comfortable silence.

“Man, this is delicious.”

Anna sipped her soup. “Yeah, this is good too. Beats our campfire rustles.”

Hayley laughed, looking up. Her eyes were sparkling in the romantic lighting of the restaurant. “I like it when you rustle. The baguette with baked beans the other day was a real eye-opener. You Scots have style.”

“Sheesh. You loved it.”

“There it is!” Hayley said. “Your real accent! I’ve been waiting for it to show up again.” She beamed. “Getting more comfortable around me or something?”

Anna scrunched up her forehead. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do.” Hayley smirked. “You’ve been doing it more and more lately.”

Anna shrugged. “Okay. Maybe there is a difference. But I haven’t consciously changed anything.”

“I think you’re getting more comfortable around me.”

“Stop listening so closely. It’ll make me self-conscious.”

“I think you love it when I listen to you.”

Anna froze.

Desserts followed their mains. The pleasurable noises Hayley made while starting her sticky toffee pudding reminded Anna of things she should one hundred percent not be thinking about. Anna ignored her urge to sit there and just watch Hayley eat by eating her cheesecake in silence.

“Sometimes happiness is food,” Hayley said, finishing her dessert. “Simple as that.”

After their meal, they stepped outside the restaurant. It was still light outside.

“Want to go to the viewpoint and watch the sun go down?” Hayley said.

Anna smiled. “That sounds fucking perfect.”

---