Page 71 of Closer than Ever

Anna took a cold bottle of water out of the tiny fridge and held it against her forehead. In the full glare of the afternoon sun, she sat down on the steps leading into the camper and replied to a message from Kelly asking how the trip was going and how things were with Hayley. Anna struggled to formulate an answer to the latter.

Having an amazing time, thank you! We’re on Lewis. It’s so beautiful up here! You guys should book a trip soon! Re Hayley, I think I might be going under… I am a total mess for her, nothing’s changed on that front, it would seem. I’m a fool for thinking I could handle this!!

And the truth was, she didn’t want it to stop. She wanted Hayley so bad. The fact that she was frequently getting powerful waves of electricity gushing through her core at the thought of them being intimate was a sign there was something going on here beyond Anna’s control.

Hayley sauntered back across the sand dunes carrying a canvas bag on one shoulder with a bottle of wine sticking out of it. A rush of butterflies spread through Anna’s tummy. Being here with Hayley, this close in each other’s space, was exactly where she needed to be right now. Second chances like this didn’t come around very often.

Twelve

February 2013

Eighties synth-pop music blared from the speakers at the front of the university sports hall. A giant disco ball hung above the mass of skaters circling the hall, giving out colourful flashes of light. Sitting on a plastic chair at the side of the hall beside the bags, Anna did up the laces on her borrowed skates, tugging them on tight. Satisfied they were on properly, she hung back, and searched for the woman setting her heart on fire.

She found her. Hayley was in the centre of the disco, gliding around with Rose and Lauren, smiling, laughing and skate-dancing to the cheesy music. Her hips swayed gently as she rolled. God, she was so fucking sexy. She was so free in herself. So at ease. So beautiful. Her wonderful and very persistent American friend had begged her to come out tonight. These days, wherever Hayley went, Anna went, and tonight was no different. Roller-skating wouldn’t normally be her thing, but for Hayley she would do anything. All she wanted was for Hayley to be happy, to see her smile and laugh, and if Anna’s presence at this roller-disco tonight contributed in any way to that, Anna was all in.

But her heart ached day and night. All she wanted was to be close to her. To kiss her, slowly, and get lost in those lips. To touch her, everywhere. To really know her. Fantasising about having sex with Hayley was fast becoming an obsession. She thought about them getting naked together in the shower after one of their runs. Or taking all of Hayley’s clothes off, before spreading her legs wide and taking her in her mouth. She thought about sliding her fingers deep inside her and fucking her so hard until Hayley exploded in pleasure. She’d say she’d never been fucked so well, and Anna would hold her in her arms forever. Anna had never masturbated as much in her life. Her crushes in the past seemed quite innocent compared to this.

Not being able to tell Hayley how she felt through fear of ruining their friendship was excruciating. She cared about Hayley too much to put her in that position. This was a one-way thing, Anna was sure of it, no matter how flirty Hayley could be sometimes. No matter how lingering the eyes or tactile the touches. Hayley was very much straight. Anna gritted her teeth thinking about the guys Hayley allowed near her. Anna didn’t know what to do, suspended in this in-between world of friendship and feeling something more, so she pretended everything was fine. But everything was not fine. Her whole world was being turned upside down.

Anna stood, unfocused, feeling the effects of the two pints of beer she’d drunk at the pub with everyone before the disco. The wobble in her legs and her arms flailing out to the side for balance as she rolled to nowhere in particular confirmed that she was in no fit state to be trying out a new sport right now, skill level and emotional state included.

“Oh, hell no,” Hayley called out, skating towards her shaking her head. “You can’t skate?”

“How hard can it be?” Anna immediately faltered, grasping out for something to hold, finding the wall instead. “Okay. Maybe I can’t skate.”

Hayley smiled affectionately. “You never said.”

Anna shrugged, holding onto the wall for dear life. It turned out, being around Hayley on roller-skates did nothing for her sense of balance.

“I’ll teach you.” Hayley held out her hand. “Do you trust me?”

Anna looked at Hayley’s hand then back up at her clever and confident eyes with their steady gaze and that gorgeous hazel tinge. “I do.”

When their hands met, Anna felt this giant burst of energy fizz right up her arm and spread through her body, settling between her legs. This sensation had only ever happened with Hayley.

“When it comes to skating less is more. Just take little baby steps and shift your weight from one foot to the other. Focus on your balance as you float along. After a while, you’ll get used to it.”

Hayley let go of her hand to demonstrate. Anna focused on Hayley’s movements, glad of the excuse to look at her whole body. A warm buzz ran through her as Hayley skated in a circle around her, finishing with a little twirl. So cute.

“Now you go.”

Anna tried to ‘float along’ but wobbled again and was dangerously close to falling. Hayley grabbed her hand, which steadied her.

“All right, shaky. You can use the stopper at the front of the boot to brake, if you need to.”

Anna made it part way down the hall, clumsily getting the hang of it, clinging onto Hayley’s hand. They skated one full lap around the hall. Anna was so proud. She glanced at Hayley and let go of her hand. Hayley gave her a thumbs up and a cheesy smile. Adorable. Anna skated on her own for about five seconds before stumbling like a cartoon character slipping on a banana skin. She fell into the wall, just about staying on her feet. So embarrassing. Her shoulder burned. Anna leant against the wall, still feeling those pints.

Hayley appeared. That was fast. She stood in front of her, arms on Anna’s waist, propping her up. She was right up in her space, breathing hard, with some colour in her cheeks. Fuck, she was so hot. Anna was getting wet. This was ridiculous.

Hayley leant into her. “I’ve got you, Bambi. Are you okay?”

Anna laughed nervously, and they locked eyes. Why the fuck was Hayley leaning on her like this? Anna’s whole body was on fire at the connection. “My hero. I’m fine.”

Hayley licked her lower lip and held Anna’s waist tighter. A few moments passed with them just standing there with each other.

“Get a room, you two,” Rose called out, skating by, laughing and rolling her eyes.

Lauren gave them a look and nodded in agreement as she went past too.

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