Page 119 of Closer than Ever

Hayley stroked Anna’s hand. “You must be so tired.”

“I am feeling a bit tired. My eyes are stinging. Would it be okay if I took a shower to freshen up and then have a quick nap?”

“Sure, go ahead. I might have a lie down as well. I have a lot to think about.”

Twenty-One

Anna took her rucksack into the bathroom and closed the door behind her. She let out a long and tense breath, hoping that she was doing enough to win Hayley back. What if Anna coming here and declaring how she had changed wasn’t a big enough gesture? What if their being in love wasn’t enough? Was Hayley wanting to do long-distance? Because Anna would get on board with that. It was do-able, wasn’t it? Or she could move to the US, if that was possible. They’d said so much already and Anna was still trying to process. But Anna didn’t want to force the conversation. All Anna knew was that she needed a shower and a quick timeout. Everything felt so precarious and delicate.

She slipped out of her hoodie and pyjamas and turned the shower on. The water pressure was strong and heavy. It felt luxurious on her body when she stepped under it. She closed her eyes and let the water soothe her aching soul. The past few days had taken a toll. But there was also a new sense of calm. Hayley was still in love with her. Anna smiled under the shower, letting some of the water into her mouth.

After her shower she felt somewhat anew. She put on one of the hotel’s fluffy white bathrobes after getting dry and using the expensive moisturiser. Stepping back into the room, Hayley was lying down on the bed on her side, resting her face on the back of her hands. Her boots were scattered on the floor and her coat had been thrown haphazardly onto a chair. She watched Anna cross the room towards the bed.

“Nice shower?”

“It was perfect. Just what I needed.”

Hayley patted the bed beside her.

So much was said in that one gesture that Anna stood there and stared at it for a moment. She lay down on her side and faced Hayley, mirroring her position. Looking into her eyes so close again felt like home. Safety. She had been mad to ever think that pushing Hayley away was the safer option. A thousand lightbulbs went off inside Anna’s head as the feeling solidified within her. They were meant for each other. This had to work. She closed her eyes, still hoping Hayley was watching, still hoping this was the start of something beautiful.

Sleep came easily and left too quickly. When she opened her eyes, Hayley was still there, fast asleep. There was something so comforting and peaceful about sleeping next to Hayley. It was like Anna could finally relax. In the dim light of the room there was nothing but their soft breathing and the strong beating heart of their connection. It was only then that Anna noticed the blanket draped across one of the chairs by the window. Their blanket.

Hayley turned onto her back and opened her eyes a few moments later. She smiled when she saw Anna out of the corner of her eye and that one smile melted away the very last drop of doubt that this wasn’t the love to end all loves.

“Hey, you.” Hayley turned back onto her side, facing Anna close. “Nice nap?”

Anna smiled. “The best.”

“You’re so cute when you sleep.” Hayley caressed Anna’s cheek.

“You are, too.”

Hayley kept stroking her face. It was so soothing. Anna didn’t feel so worked up any more, even though she was still waiting on a decision, or some indication of what came next. Instead, Hayley’s fingers were causing a gentle throb between Anna’s legs and she struggled to focus on anything else the more she did it.

Hayley paused her stroking. “I spent a lot of time by myself on my trip. I learned how to sit with the discomfort of being by myself and it wasn’t so bad. I feel like I really got in touch with myself, for the first time in my whole life.”

“That’s amazing.”

“What would you say to me not getting on that flight tomorrow and coming back up to Balbuinidh with you for a while?”

Anna felt her eyes widen. “I would say fuck yes.”

Hayley smiled and moved closer. “The only reason I was going back home was because I was heartbroken about us. I enjoyed my trip, but it wasn’t the same without you. I’ve missed you so much. But now everything’s changed. You’re here. You drove through the night for me. What you said today. It means so much to me, Anna. You make me feel so loved. I want to be with you, too. I just want to spend my life with you. I feel like you are the freedom I’ve always wanted. You unlock something in me. It’s hard to explain. I really love you. Like we’re soulmates or something.” Hayley rested her hand on Anna’s waist. “I would like us to travel but we don’t have to live like nomads. We’ll work it out. All I want is right here, so it doesn’t matter to me where we go or where we live. But I do still want to work on my business. I can do that from anywhere. I’m sorry if this is too strong too soon but we’ve wasted so much time already and…” Hayley paused. “I just love you so much.”

Anna leaned forwards and kissed Hayley’s lips, finding their special connection the instant they made contact. What comfort in knowing that what they had wasn’t lost. It was right here. Hayley smiled and Anna kissed her broad grin, not caring. They laughed and pulled apart slightly. Anna brushed her nose against Hayley’s.

Hayley touched the collar on Anna’s bathrobe. “This feels so right.”

“It does. I’m so happy we’re doing this.” Anna smiled.

“Me too. I can’t wait to go back to Scotland with you. This is so exciting.”

“I’ll tell Kelly and the distillery I’m not leaving just yet. But once we know where we’re going, I think I’m going to hand in my notice for real. I’m ready to try something new, wherever that may be.”

“I’m not pressurising you into leaving your job. I’m happy to stay in Balbuinidh for a while.”

“Let’s not go into all the details right now,” Anna said. “We can work all that stuff out later. The most important thing is that we’re together. Like I said, I’m up for anything. I’d quite like to work in a bar in another country and get to know it that way. I think it’d be fun and that’s the type of work I could get most easily. I’m flexible. I’ll pay my way.”

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