Anna held her eyes. In a restaurant bathroom on a night out with friends wasn’t the time or place.
“I just want to go home.”
“Back to the camper?”
“No. Home to Balbuinidh.”
Sixteen
Hayley helped Anna take her things out of the campervan and into the house. Removing her presence on Hayley’s trip stung like crazy. The reality of their time together being over was hard to take.
“Where do you want this?” Hayley held up Anna’s paddleboard.
“You should keep it. You might need it if you meet someone and want to go with them. I hear the lakes in Italy are amazing in the summer.”
Hayley frowned. “Anna. I’m not going to go paddleboarding with someone else.”
“You can’t mean that.”
Hayley walked past her with the deflated paddleboard under one arm into the house.
Anna closed the door to the campervan and locked it. A heavy feeling settled in her chest as she looked longingly through one of the windows. The only thing she’d left was her blanket. Or Hayley’s blanket.
“What are you thinking about?” Hayley said, from the doorstep with her arms folded at her chest.
“I’m sad that it’s over.” Anna faced her. They stood looking at each other for a few moments. A torrent of mixed emotions was raging inside Anna. She was triggered and didn’t know how to broach the subject of what was next for them. All she could think about was the fact that Hayley was leaving her.
Again.
“We need a drink,” Anna said, stepping past her into the house.
“Yes, ma’am.”
After they’d taken a seat on the sofa and some whisky had been poured and drunk, Anna still couldn’t relax. Everything was playing on her mind. Her body was tense. Her thoughts were black and white. Another large gulp of whisky provided marginal relief until she saw Hayley softly gazing at her beside her on the sofa.
“Are you okay?” Hayley said.
“I don’t know.”
“Why don’t you lie down and rest your feet on me? I’ll give you a foot rub.”
She lay down and got comfortable while Hayley moved to the other side of the sofa and gently picked up her foot. Her touches reverberated around her whole body. She took Anna’s sock off. Anna got lost in the soothing pressure that Hayley was applying. For a moment, her worries fell away. But she couldn’t let herself get sucked into a false sense of security. Anna took a deep breath. They had to have a proper conversation, no matter how uncomfortable it was to face this.
“Hayley. What are we now?”
Hayley looked up. “What do you want us to be?”
“I asked you first.”
“I want us to be together.”
Anna’s breath caught. She had not expected Hayley to say that. “You want us to be a couple?”
“Yes. Don’t you?”
“I didn’t think it was an option.”
“Why?”