Page 45 of Felix and the Spy

“You’re wrong Max. I lo—”

Felix was about to give his son a stern dressing down when he heard the door open. Amara stood on the other side, her eyes wide with shock. She wore a black dress and carried a bouquet of flowers.

She was allergic to flowers.That was the first thought that crossed his mind.

The door was unlocked.That was his second thought.

Her face was slightly flushed, and despite the unideal circumstances, his heart bloomed at the sight of her. Her dark eyes met his hesitantly before she opened her mouth.

“Good evening.”

Sixteen

Amara

“She’s a whore.”

Amara had heard those words. Staring at Max, Felix, and Rina standing in a circle next to the sofa, she felt out of place carrying a bouquet of roses and lilies. And she was five seconds from sneezing. Amara had dressed up, bought flowers, which she hated, and shown up on time. But all along, she’d known things would end up like this. His accusatory words rang in her head, and the worst part was, she had no comeback. Everything he had said about her past was right.

“Amara….” Felix’s voice echoed in her ears.

What was she doing here, trying to pretend she was normal? Trying to pretend that she wasn’t as broken as she was, and that happiness was a real possibility. The truth came down crashing in an instant.

“Good evening. How nice to see you.” Rina’s voice was unusually high-pitched. She leaned forward and Amara foisted the bouquet on her. “The flowers smell lovely.”

She felt like an unwilling participant in the last scene of a tragedy. Felix’s blue eyes were on her, his large strides moving in her direction.

“You’re early.” He held out his hand to her, but she didn’t take it.

Surrounded by the smell of roses and lilies, she was slowly sinking. Max turned his face, too embarrassed to repeat his accusations to her. She always thought Felix had been different. He’d never made her feel embarrassed or shameful about her past. But even if he was different, she wasn’t. She would always be her volatile, flawed self, a person who couldn’t entirely be loved by anyone in the world.

“How much did you hear?” His usual calm fled. He reached for her, but she backed away.

“Everything.” It was strange how distant her voice sounded. She was still poised at the doorframe, having not moved a single step. The lights were too bright, her thoughts too intrusive, her demons too loud.

“I’m sorry—”

“I think I should go. This was a bad idea.”

Without meeting Max and Rina’s eyes, she turned back and fled. When she was outside, she inhaled large gulps of air. The cool breeze broke her stupor. Felix followed her out, her shadow inches from hers. She didn’t want to face him.

“Amara—”

Her heart was heavy, her eyes moist, and her mind flooded with thoughts, all of which were negative. However, there was one thing she knew. She could no longer ignore her hunches. She knew she shouldn’t have come here, knew it could never work out between them, knew they were from different backgrounds. But she’d let hope poison her mind. She’d always been greedy, aspiring for more than she could have. Look where that had left her.

When Amara turned, her eyes were dry, but she was seething. Felix maintained his distance, reluctant to touch her after she had shrunk from him. As she looked into his slate eyes, a sense of certainty descended on her.

She had to end this.

She had to get away from him before she lost more of herself.

“I apologize, though that’s not enough. It’s my fault you had to witness something so ugly. I don’t know where I went wrong with that boy.”

“He is right.” Her voice emerged calm. Amara inhaled deeply preparing herself to deliver the words she had to.

“What?” His eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“I think your son might be right. You deserve better than the likes of me. I’ve tried to ignore it, but maybe it’s time we both faced reality. This was never going to work. It was stupid of me to believe we could have something more.”

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