Page 10 of Fling

‘I’m actually thinking about quitting this job to pursue failure full-time.’

‘Emily, it’s only Monday morning and you’ve already mentioned quitting. Don’t you like the experience? Don’t you have a dream job you’re working towards?’ Tara asked, slightly concerned.

‘Why would I dream of labour? Everyone in my generation just wants to be a viral internet star. Speaking of which, did you hear that crazy Mary woman on the radio? She’s blowing up online,’ Emily said, looking down at her phone.

‘Oh my God, yes, it was hilarious!’

‘Kinda makes me wish I was married just so I could cheat.’

‘Emily! Don’t say things like that,’ Tara said, shocked.

‘God, you are such a Mary,’ Emily laughed as she rolled her eyes.

Tara was completely taken aback. In fact, she was downright offended! Tara wasn’t one of those repressed prudes who calls The Line to complain about how Ireland is becoming too modern!

‘EMILY!’ Tara exclaimed, truly rattled by the comparison. ‘I am not a Mary. I am shocked you would think that, let alone say it!’

‘You have to admit there are some similarities.’

‘Give me an example.’

‘I don’t know how to explain it. You’re just so innocent . . . but also riddled with guilt. I think it’s a Catholic thing. I feel like you’re always about to bless yourself whenever I talk about sex. And I’m convinced you say the rosary in your head every time you see my outfits,’ Emily laughed, signalling to her stripper boots.

Tara hated that Emily saw her that way. Her biggest fear had come to life. People at work really did see her as a dinosaur. ‘Emily, you have me all wrong! I am a very fun, open-minded person,’ Tara insisted.

‘When’s the last time you had sex?’ Emily asked, never one for office decorum.

‘EMILY!’ Tara said, going puce.

‘Wow . . . that long, huh?’

‘You can’t just ask someone that kind of thing!’

‘Look at you, mortified by the mere mention of sex. That’s big Mary energy right there,’ Emily laughed.

‘OK, maybe I’ve lost touch with my sexual side. But the past few months have been so draining. My husband and I are miles apart in bed every night,’ Tara sighed.

‘And what’s been driving you two apart?’

‘Well . . . I’ve never told you this but . . . I can’t bear children.’

‘Ugh, me neither. Like, all they do is cry. What’s that about?’

‘No, I mean, I can’t physically bear children,’ Tara explained.

‘Oh,’ Emily said awkwardly. ‘Wait, that should mean you have more sex, not less.’

‘Well, believe me, trying for a baby will drain your sex drive’s battery. I feel like I need a jump start,’ Tara sighed as she slouched into her chair.

‘So the passion is just . . . gone? How long have you been together?’

‘Together for eighteen years in total and married for seven of them.’

‘Wow, that’s a long time,’ Emily said. ‘That’s almost as long as I’ve been alive.’

‘Well now I really feel old,’ Tara sighed. ‘I don’t know, maybe losing our passion was bound to happen eventually. Maybe it’s just the seven-year itch.’

‘Herpes?’

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