Page 21 of Fling

‘OK, Jack it is,’ Rory said, typing the name. ‘And for your password, I’ll say RORY-IS-HUNG, all caps, hyphenated.’

Colin rolled his eyes but didn’t object.

‘OK . . . next we need some personal info. Let’s say you’re thirty-six . . . six feet tall . . . muscular . . .’

‘I’m none of those things!’ Colin said anxiously.

‘Relax, we’re not lying, we’re just seasoning the truth,’ Rory said, taking the reins.

‘Ugh, fine.’

‘Right . . . let’s say you’re based in Dublin . . . OK, now it’s asking to pick five adjectives to describe yourself.’

‘Hmm. Well . . . I’d say I have a good sense of humour . . . I’m fairly smart, if I do say so myself . . . I’m outgoing . . . I’m confident . . . and assertive!’

‘Assertive? Really?’ Rory said, raising an eyebrow.

‘Well, I used to be. And I think it’s time I started being assertive again!’

‘That’s the spirit! So I have good sense of humour, intelligent, confident, they don’t have outgoing so I put down sociable, and assertive!’ Rory said as he hit submit. ‘Now, what five qualities do you find attractive in a woman? Maybe I should fill this section out on your behalf.’

‘Absolutely not!’ Colin laughed. ‘You won’t even mention her qualities!’

‘I’m more into quantities, if you know what I mean,’ Rory said. ‘But fine have it your way. Go.’

‘OK, let’s see . . . well, I like a woman who’s genuine, you know? A no-games kind of girl. And she has to be caring. And someone with ambitions too. Maybe a creative type. A woman who looks towards the future. And most important of all, she has to be passionate.’

‘OK, so I have passionate, creative, ambitious, caring, genuine,’ Rory said. ‘Boring.’

‘Don’t put down boring!’

‘No, I was saying your taste in women was boring.’

‘And what’s your type?’ Colin asked. ‘Lobotomized?’

‘Of course not. Intelligence is very sexy!’

‘That’s good to hear,’ Colin said. But he had a feeling there was some caveat coming.

‘It takes brains to give head,’ Rory smirked.

‘There it is,’ Colin said, rolling his eyes.

‘OK, next section is your bio. This is where you say what you’re looking for in an affair.’

Colin hadn’t expected this question. ‘What do I want from an affair? Well, I want to know that I have the power to take a woman all the way. I want a woman who knows that I call the shots and she can take it or leave it. When you’re with me, I’m in control. If you’re looking for someone harmless, then I’m not the man for you. I’m dangerous. This lion had been caged for too long. I’m ready to roar,’ Colin said.

Colin felt as if something primal had awoken within him.

‘I have some notes,’ Rory said, taking him down a few pegs.

‘I don’t care. It’s my bio and it’s staying that way,’ Colin said firmly.

‘Wow, I’m liking this new assertive Colin. Or should I say, JACK – 36, DUBLIN,’ Rory smiled. He hit the submit button and the progress bar began to fill as it searched for potential matches. They both looked nervously at the screen.

The suspense was excruciating.

‘I probably won’t get any matches,’ Colin said, preparing himself for the worst.

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