Page 51 of Fling

‘I didn’t base my entire personality on a magazine, Colin,’ Tara said defensively.

‘Oh yeah? Then why do you have a new issue every month?’

‘At least I’m not an atheist who doesn’t believe in anything.’

‘Yes I do. I believe in science. The world is made up of protons, electrons and neurons.’

‘And morons, apparently,’ Tara muttered. ‘What are you going to do at your funeral when you’re all dressed up with nowhere to go?’

‘I’m trying to focus on my life right now, not my death.’

‘Oh really? Then why did I hear you revving up your motorbike’s engine yesterday?’

‘I just took her for a little spin.’

‘I knew it! Dear God, why do men only feel alive when they’re on the brink of death? I know you were smoking too, by the way,’ Tara said, splitting him with a dirty look.

‘No I wasn’t,’ Colin lied.

‘Your nostrils flare when you lie,’ Tara said, watching his nose like a hawk. ‘So you’re back smoking and riding a motorbike. This is exactly why women live longer than men.’

‘Or maybe it’s because women nag us to death. And I seem to recall you getting on the back of that bike the night we first met.’

‘We were different people back then,’ Tara sighed.

‘Yeah, that’s the whole problem,’ Colin replied.

‘If I could jump back in . . .’ Dr Burke said. Colin had completely forgotten she was there.

‘Sorry, Dr Burke. Please continue,’ Tara said, embarrassed.

‘As I was about to say . . . I like to start all of my session with a little exercise,’ Dr Burke said. ‘I’m going to give you both a pen and paper and I’d like you to write down the reasons you married each other.’

Dr Burke handed them each a pen and notepad and sat back in her chair.

‘Please don’t overthink it, I’m looking for the first things that immediately pop into your heads, so I’m just going to give you sixty seconds,’ Dr Burke explained.

Colin tried to write on his notepad but discovered his pen wasn’t working.

‘My pen is broken,’ he said, frustrated. ‘Is this some kind of psychological test? Let me guess, the pen is supposed to be a phallus?’

‘No, Colin, sometimes a pen is just a pen. Here’s another one,’ she said, handing him a replacement.

Colin began to write down the reasons he married Tara, but his mind immediately began to wander. Claire kept creeping into the crevices of his brain. Although he had no idea who she was, he couldn’t quite purge his thoughts of her. Why had she stood him up so ruthlessly and not even bothered to explain why? Did their late-night conversations mean that little to her?

For a moment, he wondered if something bad had happened to her. Was she in danger? Had someone abducted her while she was on her way to their date? Did she need his help?

No, he decided. There was no elaborate damsel-in-distress scenario in which he would save her. That was just his brain’s way of trying to pretend he was still the hero of his own life. Claire wasn’t a princess trapped in a tower. She was just some woman who didn’t want him. It was a harsh truth but it was one he had to accept. He needed to erase any memory of Claire from his mind and focus on the task at hand.

‘OK, that’s about sixty seconds,’ Dr Burke said. ‘Tara, would you be so kind as to read what you wrote?’

‘Sure. Reasons why I married Colin. One, we fell for each other the moment we met each other. Two, we used to be very sexually compatible. Three, we both used to be very career-driven. Four, he used to always make me laugh non-stop. And five, he used to always make me feel seen and heard,’ Tara said.

‘Are you joking? That’s just a list of sly digs,’ Colin said, annoyed.

‘Colin, could you read what you wrote, please?’ Dr Burke asked.

‘I didn’t make a big list. I just wrote that I married Tara so we could start a family together,’ Colin said, holding up his bare notepad.

---