Page 77 of Fling

Even though Rory was being hyperbolic as usual, what he was saying did make sense. Better to have the room and not need it than need the room and not have it. She had told him constantly on Fling that she loved how dominant he was, how much control he seemed to have. Maybe she would want this bold move.

Either way, Colin was happy to keep all his options open.

‘Well . . . it’s technically cheaper than therapy,’ he said, as he clicked the BOOK NOW button on his screen. After a few more clicks, the room was officially secure, he just had to pay at check-in. Colin felt a rush of adrenaline flood his brain. He was excited just to meet Claire, but now there was the possibility of their online sexual fantasies being realized.

As they arrived at the green, Colin felt a sliver of guilt creeping in. Had he really just booked a hotel room for him and another woman? Rory was always the devil on his shoulder but maybe he was walking down the path of no return. A part of him would have loved to have spent the night in the hotel with Tara. The old Tara. The Tara he fell in love with. But she wouldn’t want a bold move the way she used to. The Tara that had wanted him to grab her and kiss her on Nimmo’s Pier eighteen years ago was gone. Now it was Claire who wanted him. And everyone deserves to feel wanted, do they not?

Colin suddenly realized he would be arriving home late after his date which would undoubtedly raise some alarm bells.

‘I’m going to need to come up with an excuse to tell Tara. Something she will believe,’ Colin said, worried.

‘Keep it vague,’ Rory said. ‘Otherwise you’ll trip yourself up.’

Colin took out his phone and sent Tara a text saying:

Working late, not sure what time I’ll be home.

It wasn’t the most original lie but it was simple and to the point. After he sent it, he noticed that he had an unread text from Celine that had been delivered that morning. Colin opened the message.

Celine: I got The Brazilian for you. And don’t worry, I won’t say a thing to Tara

Colin had almost forgotten about asking Celine to be put on the fertility doctor’s waiting list. He had asked her in a moment of desperation about his future. He couldn’t think about the idea of having kids with Tara right now, it made him feel too guilty.

‘What’s the matter?’ Rory said, seeing his expression.

‘Nothing. It’s just a text from Tara’s friend Celine. I asked her a few days ago to help us get on the waiting list for this fancy fertility doctor,’ Colin explained.

‘I thought Tara ruled out IVF?’

‘She has. I went behind her back thinking she would come around eventually.’

‘Yeah, that’s not going to backfire at all,’ Rory said sarcastically.

‘I didn’t think it all the way through. It’s just hard to let go of the idea of being a father. Don’t you ever think about kids?’

‘Nah, I’m more of a daddy than a dad.’

‘I think it’s pronounced caddy,’ Colin slagged him.

‘Hilarious,’ Rory said, rolling his eyes. ‘But anyway, you need to forget about the future and focus on living in the present with Claire.’

‘Yeah, but the funny thing is, when I do think about the future, I see it with Claire,’ Colin admitted. ‘Is that an awful thing to say?’

‘Yes, awfully stupid. You don’t even know what she looks like!’

‘I know she has the hottest body I’ve ever seen.’

‘Yeah, but what if she’s a butter face?’ Rory asked.

‘What the hell is a butter face?’

‘It’s when a girl has a hot body . . . but her face . . .’ Rory said, grimacing.

‘Oh, that’s just mean. Even if she’s not a model, I’ll still treat her with respect and dignity. Two new words for your vocabulary,’ Colin said, teasing him.

‘I still don’t understand why you’re so obsessed with her.’

‘I’m not obsessed. I just feel like I can truly be myself with her. I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not,’ Colin explained.

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